This post was prompted by my trip to the store today. Sitting in holiday traffic. Trying to find my happy place. Never ending shiz on the radio. Suddenly the fog lifted and I found myself singing every word to Icehouse's "Electric Blue". And instead of taking a sharp right off the Montlake Bridge as any normal human would, I thought, hey do I have this on my ipod? I confess. I love crappy music. I love it for its unabashed crappiness. I bask in its sheer craposity. You can't always share this with people. Most take themselves too seriously. A nod to Icehouse would be a blight on their personal record. But you can't truly appreciate good music unless you know what's shitty, correct? I like the spectrum. The nuance of crap. Maybe the nuance I speak of here is of the Cheesy variety. I don't know. Maybe I like Electric Blue because it reminds me of 7th grade and singing into my Clairol Makeup Mirror. Maybe I just have really bad taste in music. But it got me thinking, what other unspeakable's are hiding on my ipod? Downloads I won't admit to downloading. Songs no human in their right mind will admit to liking* Well, here you go everybody, the top 9 cheesiest songs on my ipod today**:

"Jive Talkin'" - Bee Gees     We all love to hate the Bee Gees but come on. They're catchy. Admit it. The beginning guitar pickin' sound? It's awesome. I'm going to ramp up the cheese factor by confessing I also dig "One" and "Alone" which were late 80's and early 90's Bee Gees songs that nobody should ever cop to knowing. Shame on me.

"Night Moves" - Bob Seger     Ooh. This one hurts me about as much as it hurts you, but it's true. How could I? Even worse? How could I own Bob Seger's Greatest Hits? I could easily pick any song on that album but this one is actually on my ipod. Oh Sweet Hosanna, I'm really digging myself in here. "Tight pants, points, hardly renown". You heavenly wordsmith, you. It's so wonderfully disturbing.

"Sister Golden Hair" - Bread     I have a soft spot for 70's hooks, what can I say. Obviously, I was born in the wrong decade. Although, I ask Martin and he doesn't remember half of these songs. I think it's because my parents owned a Chevy van with wall-to-wall red shag carpet. I was raised on 8 tracks. And my father owned one of those knitted Budweiser can hats.

"Somebody" - Depeche Mode    Now this one is embarrassing. Only because I truly thought this was The Way love was supposed to be back in the 80's. Oy, God. How gay. I, too, was 'carefully trying to steer clear of those things". Yikes.  What were 'those things'? My girlfriends and I would sit around and brush each others hair and marinate in our bereftness. So emo.

"Sara Smile" - Hall & Oates        Truth be told, this should be "She's Gone" but I don't technically have that on the ipod. Hall & Oates rocks my socks. This guys' too. WHAT is that?

"Do It To Me" - Lionel Richie   I will probably have to write a whole separate post on my relationship with Smooth Jazz. Suffice to say, I like the slow grooves. Unabashedly cheesey and saxophoney ones. With plenty of "motown lovin'". Lionel came out with a couple gems in the early 90's. I don't know why I like them. Again, I don't know what is wrong with me. It's not even Commodores Cool. It's like lame elevator rock. I am the first to admit it.

"Crazy Love" - Poco     The vocals on this song remind me of every song I heard when I was in kindergarten in 1980. Those were good times.

Entire Kamakiriad Album - Donald Fagen    Some Steely Dan songs are so retro their cool. Steely Dan has street cred. But only an absolute Donald Fagen fan would love every single song on Kamakiriad. Only an absolute dork fan would choreograph a whole dance in their living room to "Tomorrow's Girls". Ssshhh. Forget I told you that. There was wine involved and lots of snow. We were snowed in. And bored. And drunk. Sometimes, always actually, I feel way too young to like Donald Fagen as much as I do.

"Year of the Cat" - Al Stewart     I picture hilltop mansions in LA. Or the Regal Beagle. That's exactly what I see. Jack, Janet and Chrissy sipping Riunite on ice. That's nice. Sharing some calamari. How long is this song? It's one of those story-songs that takes you high and brings you way down low. It's Epic. Epically 70's.

*I can't even bring myself to put Lou Gramm's "Midnight Blue" on the list because it's so good. Anything that involves this:

You were the restless one
And you did not care
That I was the trouble boy
Lookin' for a double dare

Is f'ing sweet in my book.

**meaning, there could be crappier ones on there tomorrow, just wait.