How many times do I need to see this footer on emails that I receive...? We all know what happened, right? Someone at Apple figured this was marketing genius and a great way to spread the gospel. Well guess what Mr. Apple marketing man, after seeing this footer for the one hundredth time it becomes either 1) invisible because you are totally desensitized to it or in my case it's 2) really annoying because now I have yet one more line of text to scroll past on my mobile device in order to read the entire conversation thread.

The other day there was an outdoor concert at work and a comedian was the opener. After warming the crowd up a bit he launched right into his iPhone rant. It went something like this.

"I got an email the other day and at the bottom it said, "Sent from an iPhone". Nice going. You know what, who cares what kind of phone you have. Is this kind of posturing really necessary? I've got an idea; why don't you stick your iPhone up your ass, take a picture of it and then email it to yourself."

I was in tears.

By the way; the same thing goes for those massive signatures that include quotes by famous people that some people feel the need to send along WITH EVERY REPLY AND FORWARD. Just say no.

So... do you think this will really work?

https://www.catalogchoice.org/

You are supposed to able to create a profile and then elect not to receive catalogs from anyone who is sending you one currently. Since I'm a huge sucker for not getting mail I threw caution to the wind and signed up. I love the mission and they are endorsed by everyone and their dog (including hopefully me soon) but what if a business does not volunteer to sign up with this service?

I bet there is math out there that proves it's more profitable to send millions or catalogs out, have 999,000 end up in some landfill - meaning the other 1,000 get used to buy stuff - than to let people opt out. I mean if you don't get the catalog, how are you going to know you can spend money on this retailer? You get the idea.

Shit, here's hoping it works.

NOTE - I did not have to provide my full name in my profile so I didn't.

I already love cheese and I just discovered another one that is to die for. Trader Joe's Cave Aged Gruyere.

But I had to know, what the hell does 'cave aged' mean? So I went and found out. No wonder I like it. Take an already fantastic cheese - Swiss Gruyere - lovingly place it in a sandstone cave (or warehouse not doubt - but I'm sticking with the cave image no matter what) and let it get all crumbly, sharp and oh so delicious for 12 MONTHS. Think of a sharp, white cheddar and you'll start to get the picture. Only this is better.

Three more words: tastes like more.

So I get a new pair of shoes, okay? Nothing special, just a pair of black, leather, sorta nice, slip-on shoes. Last Monday I wore them to work for the first time; along with a pair of good looking jeans and long sleeve shirt.

A couple of days ago while I'm helping one of our staff with a computer problem she says to me, "How come you were all dressed up the other day? You're not interviewing are you?"

?!

It made me realize that my work 'uniform' basically is raggedy-ass faded jeans, any old top and either slip-on Vans or Converse in the winter or shorts and a T-shirt (same shoes) in the summer. Throw in some fabulous cycling socks and I look like a hobo eight hours a day, five days a week.

It was kind of a wake up call as I'm usually the guy making superior fashion judgments about anyone I pass on the street. :( Now who's laughing. Not me. That was rhetorical.

Never, in all my years of college, high school (hell, ANY school) did I think I would ever utter these words. Now that I'm out of school and doing my own thing it seems I can't sleep in if my life depends on it. Thinking back it might have started when I began going to the gym early in the morning with a friend about 10 years ago but really, is this kind of thing truly learned or are there just morning people and evening people?

Since that day way back when I have been getting up at around 5 am on most weekdays on a fairly regular basis and now come the weekend or, heaven forbid, a vacation where you are fully, 100 percent able to sleep in I am unable to do so. Like today. I woke up at 5 and finally got out of bed at 6 and now I'm sitting here typing.

If you ask Shelley the answer is clear. I'm a morning person (read: freak, weirdo) and she's normal. On weekdays I regularly get home from the gym and she's still in bed. On weekends she can wake up to tell me goodbye as I leave for a ride, roll over and be asleep in a heartbeat. In fact, she'll set her alarm on the weekends just so she can turn it off and go back to sleep with the feeling of satisfaction that she does not need to get up. Not me. Once that alarm goes off I'm done for. Even if I just have to get up at 4 or 5 to visit the bathroom I'm finished. I'll go back to bed but just lie there staring a the ceiling.

You might say, "Martin, why are you fighting this? Think of all the extra time you have each day that most other people don't." Well it's not exactly like that you see... I might wake up early but then come 8 pm; unless I'm actively doing something, I shut down pretty fast. We'll be watching a movie or (trying to) read books when all of a sudden my head hits the couch/pillow. The only exceptions seem to be when we're out with friends, at a party, you know, doing stuff. Sadly there is one other exception; the computer. I can sit and mess with shit for hours it seems. There have been times when my ability to stay awake in front of the glowing LCD has been kinda ridiculous in fact.

On those days when I don't get to bed until late and only get six (or five or four) or so hours of sleep I still seem to do okay. I'm not one of those people that has a second job at night or some massive hobby they do when everyone else in the house falls asleep but I do seem to do alright with less sleep than some.

But sometimes I really want to sleep in... I have vivid (and fond) memories of being able to shut my eyes, go back to sleep and then have breakfast at lunch time. Plus, there are times when your body just needs more sleep. Mine needs it too but it refuses to get it. Thinking back I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say seven hours is the most I have slept in years. What's that you say? Eight is normal? Whatever.

If this is one of the affects of aging I guess it could be a lot worse. I could be going to the bathroom not just at 4 but at 2, 2:45, 3:30... you get the idea.

Who knew a feather boa was not only good looking but good for you too... Clearly I need to rethink this whole cycling routine I have going and give burlesque equal consideration. Think of all the fabulous outfits I would be able to wear! Plus I might get tips, no none tips you when you ride your bike, that's for sure...

The Goddess Workout - Cardio Burlesque "Whip"

Just say no to boring old Lycra.

What would we do without the Internet? Well for one we'd all be wasting gobs of money on expensive tripods and taking blurry pictures. Thank heavens we have it. Say hello to the $1 image stabilizer for your camera:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1041948/1_image_stabilizer_for_any_camera_lose_the_tripod/

incredible.

You know how sometimes hearing just the right song at just the right time can mix the chemicals in your blood just so and fire the neurons in your brain just right and turn you into a weeping baby? That just happened to me. Holy crap, the human body is way too complicated...

But to the point of this post - what made me feel this way is also freaking cool! Check it out:

http://www.theunseenvideo.com/video/youmakemefeel.html

This is Mike Milosh performing "You Make Me Feel" and the song is amazing. The video is also amazing as it changes depending on your geographic location and the weather you are currently experiencing.

Now that - in my humble opinion - is what the Internet is for.

Every year cycling teams get presented to the press when the new season gets underway. Sponsors - especially new ones - love the exposure and it's a chance for interviews, autograph signing and lots of picture taking. Here in the US teams usually show up to these events in their matching sweat suits and running shoes. Maybe the entire team even has on matching wicking briefs.

Well let's look at how the Italians do this. Here is team LPR Brakes at their formal presentation. Nice.

Say hello to Euro style and a Euro pro team budget.

That's what my friend's doctor just told him. Tony C (that's my friend) is going to need to have his hip replaced.

Now other than reading about Floyd Landis and his hip, I know next to nothing about this procedure and it sounds at best pretty damn scary and confusing. Tony was told he's going to have the  procedure in May and then it's six months of recovery.

ASIDE - imagine walking into your doctor's office and having him drop this bomb. That's exactly how it went down. "Your hip has to go, we can schedule the procedure in May." No segue, no sugar coating, just the short,sharp heart punch.

Now I must be one of the luckiest people around because other than my back - which I'm only now starting to realize is a lifelong deal - I have never had to take six months to recover from anything. Most of my friends have all broken bones, had a concussion, you name it. But me? I complain when I can't exercise for more than one week. Just ask Shelley what it's like when we go on a vacation. And when I say 'vacation' I of course mean travel to exotic locations and do stuff like hike for a week on one of the hardest trails in the world or ride a week long mountain bike stage race. Even when we went to Kauai last spring I was still whining about sitting around as much as we did. Man, I must suck to vacation with.

But enough about me, this is about Tony; and his hip. Here is what the doctor told him he was going to get:

http://www.biomet.com/hcp/prodpage.cfm?s=090F&p=0D03

With features like, "maximizes ROM", and, "One piece cobalt chrome design", how can you go wrong? Wait, what about this one here, "Simple Instrumentation". Huh...?! In this day and age you need to not only know how to shop for a car and a house but for your frigging hip! Nothing like sweating that decision. Jesus.

To top it off his doctor told him his other hip is about 10-15 years away from needing replacement as well. Nice. Ever had your wisdom teeth out? Any other really fun procedure? Now imagine having to look forward to that procedure again. Kinda puts everything else into perspective.

I see said the blind man to his deaf friend... whatever. I always thought that joke was kind of like getting hit over the head with a blunt object anyway. The point (which is totally unrelated to this intro) is that we are frequently blind to the truth when it's staring us right in the face.

Andy (one of my co-workers) recently underwent some disaster training here at the UW. This means he is now qualified to wear a dayglo hat on his head, a whistle around his neck and carry a clipboard so he can check off the names of people that died in the earthquake and were not able to run out of the building. During this training he was given an emergency preparedness kit which contained among other things some matches, a flashlight, a first aid kit and this energy bar. Yesterday he noticed it was past the expiration date and was going to toss it but I intercepted it. That's right, no food bar is too stale for Martin "let me shove that in my mouth and to hell with the consequences" Criminale.

Now I know it's silly but I usually associate energy bars with a healthy lifestyle meaning that they are relatively good for you. Most have a good ratio of carbohydrate to protein and fat and some are vitamin fortified as well. This bar blows that theory out of the water.

First of all,check out the name, "New Millennium Energy Bar". It sounds either like something that is really new or something that is supposed to last through the millennium. I'm thinking it's the later. And they vacuum pack this thing like it's going to need to survive some sort of crash test or break the underwater submersion record for a food bar:

Can you see how tight the wrapper is around the bar? And that's no ultra thin Mylar like PowerBar uses, no sir. I could use those edges to scrape the frost off of my windshield. Enough foreplay, let's open this thing up.

Wow, that doesn't look anything like any energy bar I have ever seen... Why, it looks like a cookie; shortbread actually. So I took a bite and while I was chewing I turned it over and read the ingredients.

Damn, it is shortbread.

Nutrition Facts: Calories 409, Protein 8g, Carbohydrates 53g, Fat 19g.

Ingredients: Wheat flour, Vegetable shortening, Cane and Corn Sugars, Dried Coconut, Corn Starch, Corn Syrup, Natural Flavors.

The firs thing that I noticed was that it contained 409 calories...?! What other energy bar has that many? Then I saw that it contained fully 2/3 of your daily recommended intake of fat. Ah... now things are a little more clear. This is an 'energy' bar in the sense that is supposed to keep you alive, not in the sense that it is supposed to be good quality fuel when you are sweatin' to the oldies on your indoor trainer or trying to set a new PR at the local century. Nope, this is all about how to pack the most fuel into the smallest package and keep it dirt cheap at the same time. The solution? Flour and shortening. Nice.

Lastly I had to check out the company that makes these things, S.O.S. Food Lab, Inc. Yikes! Prepare yourself for full-on FrontPage web site hell. Does that rainbow colored, arching text remind you of Microsoft Publisher...? Oh yes, it does.

So what did this thing taste like? Just like cherry flavored shortbread. And did I eat it all? Of course. I hate myself.

I just got an email from a good friend of mine who is trying to lose a little weight and get a little fitter and he was asking me this question:

"I understand that it is important (was going to say imperative) that protein be ingested within 20-25 minutes of working out. Have you heard such a thing?"

This kind of question proves just how effective all the marketing hype that we drown in on a daily basis really is. Before I continue I probably need to preface this by admitting that I'm not studying to be a nutritionist on the side or anything but here is what I know.

When you exercise your body uses glycogen. Glycogen is the fuel inside of your muscles and is made when your body assimilates and process anything you eat. Your muscles can't use straight up carbohydrates or protein or fat, your body has to break this stuff down and turn it into glycogen first.

There is a 'window of opportunity' after you exercise that your body will absorb new muscle glycogen much for quickly than if you wait. That window is about 30-45 minutes depending on who you talk to. Bottom line is you are supposed to consume something that is easily absorbed pretty quickly after you work out if you want to work out again in the near future and not feel toasted.

ASIDE – if you are not going to work out hard again within the next day or two, it probably does not matter much what you do. Your body will replace all the lost muscle glycogen in time but it might take a couple of days for you to be fully stocked up again.

So, what will your body absorb the fastest? People used to think it was pure carbohydrate but now it's common knowledge that a 4:1 ratio of carbohydrate to protein is absorbed the quickest. That's why drinks like Endurox R4 and such all use this ratio. If you only consume carbohydrate it will help a lot but not as much as if you eat/drink something with this ratio. Pure protein and pure fat are both broken down and absorbed MUCH more slowly than pure carbohydrate.

All this protein, protein, protein hype is one of my pet peeves... You see this in magazines, in ads for products, at stores like GNC and in the gyms. And it's mostly all wrong.

ANOTHER ASIDE - stores like GNC (General Nutrition Centers, Inc.) should probably really be called something like BOGUS (Buy Our Generally-overpriced Unproven Shit).

YET ANOTHER ASIDE – if you go chugging a lot of recovery drinks after working out that's great for your muscles but be careful to not add them to your total caloric intake. If your drink is 500 calories, you will need to trim 500 calories from your dinner or somewhere else. Otherwise you will not lose weight. That's probably pretty obvious but I see so many people drinking their meal replacement shakes and then eating lunch! Hello?!

So take Dr. Martin's advice and remember, carbohydrate is much more important for muscle recovery than protein. We all need protein but most people that get caught up in this craze and start taking loads of supplements end up getting too much and then it's just extra calories you don’t need. And ANY extra calories you don't need – no matter if they come from protein or carbohydrate or fat – will get turned into fat.

Class dismissed.

Green Lake has historically been a haven to milfoil, ducks, migrating Canada geese, really bad pick-up basketball, English Premier League wannabes and these days, now that it's way too crowded to ride around the lake, it's also apparently the freaking dog walking capitol of the universe.

The other day Shelley and I went out for a leisurely stroll to enjoy a rare moment of Seattle winter sun and after seeing dog after dog pass us by we wondered how many we would encounter on our one lap around the lake. I blurted out, "40 dogs!" but Shelley, after giving this some careful thought said, "I think 25." So, coffee in hand we took off to walk and count.

Oh. My. God.

I had no idea... and how long has Martin lived in Seattle? The best thing is that part and parcel with being the dog walking capitol of the universe Green Lake has now also become the dog shit capitol of the universe. It seemed like every few (okay, maybe hundred) feet or so I was swerving left or right to avoid stepping in another pile. To be technically accurate, they weren't piles, they were just smears as someone else had already beaten me to it. At one point I even saw an elderly couple that were both stopping to scrape the soles of their shoes off on some piece of wood. Blech... Nothing quite as fun as finishing a brisk walk, getting back into your car (with carpeted interior of course) and realizing - too late - that you stepped in dog shit.

Which brings up the things I love about some dog owners. And in case you were wondering, I have previously had two dogs; now I know I can't offer them the quality of life they deserve.

• Ever watch the Dog Whisperer? You know, the show where Cesar Millan tells all these folks that they should stop treating their dogs like people? There was no shortage of owners being led around the lake by their dogs all the while talking to them in English telling them stuff like, "No!" Nice.
• If you can't control your dog with your voice, what are you doing taking it to such a crowded place? Likewise, if your dog does not like crowds, can you please put this trait ahead of your need to chat on the phone while ignoring the fact that there is a 60 lb animal bouncing all over the path in an effort to avoid (or attack - take your pick) everything that passes you by?
• If you have to carry your dog because it's too small to keep up, maybe you should leave it at home. It will get enough exercise just running to the door when you arrive every evening. It's resting heartrate is probably already 200 bpm; don't push it.
• When it comes to dog clothing, who decides if the dog really needs this or not? Did your dog tell you that it was cold? And who managed to upsell you from the cotton or wool horse blanket style garment to the Gortex shell with more pit zips, vents and technology than what was used to summit Everest 20  years ago?

ASIDE - check this out, for the obscenely devoted dog owner and homemaker with way too much time on their hands you can even get patterns and sew your own creations.

Animals, I love them, really. But they aren't people, people. And clean up after them, please.

Okay, so we don't really need this at all; that was a rhetorical statement.

What's the deal with drinks like Pepsi Max? In my humble opinion, Pepsi USA is Johnny come lately to the trend of drinks that make you irritable, twitch uncontrollably and unable to relax at important times of the day (like when you need to go to sleep!). I mean c'mon, hasn't this train already left the station? Check it out, we have:

• Rockstar Energy Drink [which uses fonts like you saw in Boogie Nights]
• NOS [which looks like a terrible MySpace page... is this supposed to appeal to the inner rice boy in all of us or something?]
• Red Bull [the original and the first to get combined with alcohol!]
• AMP [this is made by Mountain Dew which is owned by Pepsi and which is already really popular...]
• Wired [truth in advertising - sho 'nuf]

And about a gazilion others.

It would appear to me that in true, red-blooded American fashion someone at Pepsi decided that damn it, we're in America and here more is more by god so let the nasty soda flow. Twice the caffeine or regular diet Pepsi. Did I mention that it has guarana? Oh wait, then that's really three times the caffeine; my bad. Good luck kicking that smoking habit now, you're going to need 'em just to calm yourself down.

All this stuff reminds me of the body builder drinks you see at the gym. You know, stuff like Ripped Force:

Check these bottles out! I think you can also find them listed in the dictionary under "overkill" or "redundant" or "garish" or "stupid". The louder the label the more weight you will lose. Or is that the lighter your wallet gets... I forget.

Ripped Force an dotehr body builder drinks are just like all the hopped up sodas except they use longer words to describe their products like "thermogenics" and scientific terms like "ECA stack" which are used in an [very successful in my opinion] attempt to bamboozle the average consumer. And it's obviously really successful. When you see how much air time people like Kirstie Alley get pedaling methods like Weight Watchers it is no surprise. None at all.

ASIDE - Kirstie keeps telling us how much weight she has lost but I'm just not seeing it... It's like the total ascent number on my GPS, it lets you know how much elevation you gained and lost. I'm always blown away when the ads for this particular regime come on the television and there is Kirstie, in a tight dress. Looking not so thin. And with the same, tired, much-too-blond-overly-streaked-this-style-went-out-of-fashion-years-ago hair. But that's another post.

I'm going to go out on a limb right now and predict that Pepsi Max (diet or not) will not be around one year from now. It has to be the case that these guys are going to well once too often, right?

It seems like Santa got everyone the same helmet camera for Christmas this year.

I got one, then last Friday I found out my friend Tony got one as well and yesterday on the ride Brian had one on his bike. Nice. I'm no camera expert  but after reading a few reviews and shopping around the Oregon Scientific ATC2K seemed like a good 'first' camera. The resolution is only 640x480 but it's shock and water resistant, comes with a reasonable mounting kit for your helmet and handlebars and Oregon Scientific was having a special on the camera plus a 2 GB SD card which is the largest it can hold. Sold.

ASIDE - the reason 2 GB is the largest this camera will accept is you have to format the card FAT 16... seems strange in this day and age.

Now having the camera is cool but I know exactly what is going to happen. There is going to be a deluge of crap posted on YouTube that is not in the least bit interesting to anyone other than the author. You know, stuff like, "Here I am walking the dog" or, "Here I am riding my bike around a really boring corner of a really unremarkable road" or, "Here is [insert significant other here] brushing their teeth without knowing that I'm filming them". Oh wait, there already is.

I guess it's just a learning curve we all have to go though. Just like when we got our first email address and were initially set loose on the Internet; everyone had to forward the same tired jokes and chain letters to everyone else. And it's not only helmet cameras, most any phone or digital camera will record video too.

But there is hope. Some, okay lots, of the stuff on YouTube is incredible. In fact it was my sister that originally got me thinking about how much fun making movies could be with her Lucca goes skating clip that she made a couple of years ago. I love this film. It obviously helps that I also love Weezer but she did a damn good job. The little touches like the shot of the heart rate monitor? Brilliant. The transition from running on pavement to skating on snow? So simple and so cool.

I guess there is hope for me yet. Or at least my videos.

Just watch your back - you never know who is going to be armed with one of these the next time you get drunk at a party, playfully flirt with your best friend's wife or decide to blow through that stop sign. No need for big brother when there is an army of little brothers all in possession of some device that will record video.

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

The Story of Stuff is a 20:40 movie and a web site full of information about the culture of consumption we live in. It also has links and resources to hopefully explain how we can break out of this non-sustainable cycle.

From the web site:

"From its extraction through sale, use and disposal, all the stuff in our lives affects communities at home and abroad, yet most of this is hidden from view. The Story of Stuff is a 20-minute, fast-paced, fact-filled look at the underside of our production and consumption patterns. The Story of Stuff exposes the connections between a huge number of environmental and social issues, and calls us together to create a more sustainable and just world. It'll teach you something, it'll make you laugh, and it just may change the way you look at all the stuff in your life forever."

I know what you are thinking, preaching to the choir and all that... Well maybe you are right. But maybe this is still a great movie and web site. And maybe it's pretty relevant.

Everyone has their own level of tolerance when it comes to consuming, producing waste, using natural resources, eating meat, acquiring stuff, whatever. None of these things are necessarily bad but I'm thinking none should be done with no regard for their consequences. It's that "Think globally, act locally" cliche all over again. And it's why I feel a twinge of guilt when I have to drive to work (five miles one way!) in the van. I suppose a twinge is better than nothing.

Thanks to Mark B for sending me this.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00067F1CE/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Nice. A personal tank, why didn't I think of this first? There goes another gazillion dollars I won't be making. With this ride all the original gangsters could cruise with total impunity.

You need to read the reviews, they had me laughing so hard my side hurt.

Thanks to Annie at work for this gem.

In addition to wasting lots of time sorta maintaining our own web site and two blogs and tons of other computer stuff that is really important to me only I'm also the web guy for the WSBA. This time of year I have to put together the event calendar for next year and I just finished hammering that out. So here is your special sneak peak. [shhh, don't tell anyone] Ta da...!

http://www.wsbaracing.com/events_2008.asp

Nice. Normally this takes me way too long and this time around was no exception. I must be the slowest coder in the universe. This morning it was freezing outside (literally) and it even snowed a little so I sat in front of the computer all day and typed and copied and pasted.

Yes! Timing really is everything.

A few weeks ago I was thinking, "It's been a long time since I've spoken with my good friend Chance..." so I gave him a call. Unfortunately (actually fortunately as it turned out) he did not answer and I had to leave a message.

Some time later I saw him reply to a post on a tech support list that I subscribe to at work. It reminded me that I had not heard back from him since I left my voice message so I sent him an email to follow up. After another email follow up Chance finally replied. He apologized profusely calling himself a "technological and social retard" which I think is going too far and besides, no apology necessary. We all get hung up on stuff and besides, I'm the king of letting things slide... I was just happy to hear from him.

ASIDE - Chance is an interesting (read: funny) guy. He's a self-professed Luddite and yet he started Formix which specializes in high-performance computing. Now from my vantage point, anyone that can design and implement a high-performance computing cluster is pretty savvy when it comes to technology. But being able to build computer clusters obviously does not equal knowing how to program your VCR. Or retrieve your voicemail.

So we decided that Shelley, Chance and I should go for a beer at the Stumbling Monk.

Practically the first thing out of his mouth was, "Do you two want to go to Whistler?"

Do I ever...!

So it's looking like we're not only going to be there but be there for New Years eve - what a blast! Chance has been staying in the same cabin for the last like five years:

and it looks really nice. I guess the owner had a chance to turn over the renting of the property to some developer or property manager or something ages ago and just wasn't organized to take them up on the offer before it expired. D'oh...! Chance tells me he could have doubled his money and kept the property. You know it won't last long but at least we still have this one year to enjoy it.

One of Chance's favorite things about Canada is that everything is labeled in English and in French. Like this tomato juice:

One of my favorite things about Chance is that he says stuff like this. And one of my favorite things about Canada is that it contains Whistler. Oh man, I can't WAIT.

When I was much younger my mother used to beak gingerbread and we'd spend some real quality time decorating it with candied fruit, nuts and icing. I remember thinking that the icing she made was so cool... it was 1) an incredible glue and 2) perfect for making icicles.

Well a few days ago Shelley got this authentic German gingerbread house kit and Wednesday evening Cameron and us put it together.

The icing was one egg white (beaten), as much powdered sugar as you wanted until the consistency was right and then a few drops of lemon juice for extra stickiness. It was surprising how easy it was to make and it was also surprising how many memories of my Mom came back just from whisking a damn egg white.

Anyway, I can't wait to eat this!

I also can't wait until I start using my digital camera instead of my phone to take pictures - man is that a ghetto shot.

Ever do something really stupid, realize it's really stupid and keep right on doing it? Right, me neither.

So here we are enjoying pretty much the only family tradition we have - going to Friday Harbor for Thanksgiving. This place is a research lab and along with cabins and apartments and a cafeteria and a dock and research vassals and and even row boats you can use and a day care facility now this place has Internet access. It used to be you had to go to the library and fire up one of the computers there but now they have wireless networks as well, two even. This morning I got online no problem; now I can't.

So what do I do? I keep trying. And waiting. And trying again.

The access points I was seeing this morning are not showing up at the moment and seeing as it's a holiday, they might just be turned off. But I keep sitting here, pretending to read magazine and stuff but really I keep clicking the refresh button on my wireless radio.

It's a sad state of affairs.

Oh I brought books. And I tried to build a fire (but I failed and Lucca had to take over), but what I really want is to [insert some lame reason here] online.

So there I am Friday morning waiting for the bus to take me to work when I see this bus going the other direction rather silently... It had the "OUT OF SERVICE" marque on the front but as it pulled up tot he intersection with some maintenance guy behind the wheel I did not hear any engine noise.

Well, not far behind the bus was this Mammoth tow truck. You know, the kind that move other trucks.

At first I'm thinking, "What the hell is this tow truck driver doing...?!" because he pulls RIGHT up behind this bus; like scary close. And then he proceeds to inch even closer!

Finally it dawned on me, this bus was broken down and the truck was pushing it along.

Sheeeeit. That takes some balls for sure. You know the truck driver can't see a damn thing and when they started out from the intersection it was NOT a slow start. No way, this guy punched it and the bus fairly shot across the intersection and off they went.

Yikes.

“Honey, are you going to wear your cologne today…?”

Oh my god, you’re damn straight I will, I love it when she says that. What could be better than knowing the girl of your dreams thinks you smell great? Not much, that was rhetorical.

I gotta say though, the name of this cracks me up. Ralph Lauren Polo Double Black. Like “Black” (which they have as well) just wasn’t enough. The bottle is wicked cool, no denying. Plus, I wore this at our wedding. Killer bottle and sentimental value, can't beat that.

to change up their logo. Like today – Veteran’s Day.

I love that. Sometimes it’s the little things.

Nice...

This is occurring way too frequently for my tastes these days. Here is what usually happens.

• I fall asleep.
• Something wakes me up.
• I can't fall back asleep. Until it's time to get up or the alarm goes off that is, then of course I can go from awake to deep sleep in record time. Do not pass REM, do not collect $200.

Tonight the 'thing' was some loud noise like a gun shot at around 1:30 am. By the time I hauled my groggy self up to look out of the window all I could see was some clown running down the sidewalk and disappearing from view. And by clown I mean, "some jerk that has nothing better to do than cruise neighborhoods other than his own f'ing around and making loud noises and why can't he get a job that requires him to wake up a the same time as me". And by too frequently I mean it's happening about twice/month.

Normally our neighborhood is nice and quiet but I sometimes forget that it's on the border of the CD (Central District).

ASIDE - the CD has a reputation (justifiably I guess) for being a somewhat rowdier neighborhood than others; like say Medina or Hunts Point or Magnolia.

In fact, I recall some time after I moved into this house that signs started appearing indicating that this was now the Central Neighborhood. I guess "Neighborhood" sounds much more classy than "District" or maybe it was just to try and avoid the stigma of the CD and boost property values.

Anyway, here I am. It's 3 am, I have a glass of lemonade and I'm on the Internet. :(