A good friend of mine Les K just sent me some pictures of this hike he was just on. Turns out he is turning 50 and to celebrate he decided to go on 50 hikes this year each one at least six miles in length.

Now I can think of many, many worse things to do to celebrate your 50th…
- buy an expensive 'sports' car
- get some surgical cosmetic procedure done
- try to dress and act like you did 30 years ago
- try to catch up with all the social networking you've been missing and inevitably look the fool
- drink a shit load
You get the idea.

Les has always been active. He used to race bikes and we competed in many events together. Then he had surgery on his knee and it took a long time to recover. Now he's doing what he wants and how cool is that? Very; it was rhetorical.

Did I mention that he's already 20 hikes into the 50? Nice.

Kudos to you Les!

A friend posted on Facebook (I hear it's all the rage these days) about an article in the Times Online where Father Gabriele Amorth, the Chief Exorcist [Is that a wicked cool title or what?!] for the Catholic Church revealed that the "Devil is in the Vatican". Apparently this is why the church has committed so many transgressions, why priests molest young boys and why investigations into suspicious matters on the part of the church (conducted by the church of course) have been conveniently expedited or flat out covered up.

Really? That's nice.

First of all it's extremely cool how you can 1) claim that there is a devil and then 2) claim that he is responsible for all the wrong that you do. That conveniently absolves you from any blame – except perhaps for not calling Father Amorth to exorcise that shit. If you cry foul to this argument then you are 3) a godless heretic and 4) probably have the devil in YOU. Old fashioned exorcism anyone?

ASIDE – I wonder just how busy Father Amorth is these days… is possession running rampant and I just don't hear about it or is he perpetually warming the bench and buying heaps of Preparation H stock?

Circular or self-justifying arguments are pretty sweet when you can pull them off and who better to do this than the biggest formal organization on the planet – the Catholic Church. Clubs (and yes, I am using the term loosely) achieve a sort of critical mass at some point and the Catholic Church reached that point loooong ago. There are now so many members and it's teachings are so socialized that if you speak out in opposition people look at you like you are insane.

ANOTHER ASIDE – It has always mystified me when people get al up in arms if you hold them to the standard of accepting ALL the teachings of the Catholic Church and not just the ones that they find convenient to adhere to. Have you ever heard someone say, "Well, I'm really just 60 percent Catholic, the other 40 are pretty hedonistic to tell you the truth. I mean I'm down with heaven and hell and all that, but a bodies' got to shoplift every once in a while in this tight economy just to get by." Didn't think so. And don't even get me started about all the closeted Republican politicians…

Fortunately there are a few 'insane' people out there that are more articulate than I and can throw some cold water on this charade; very eloquently of course.

One of these people is Stephen Fry, the well known British actor, writer, comedian, television presenter, film director, etc., etc. Although not a direct rebuttal to Father Amorth, this speech is awesome and pretty much sums up how I feel.

If you want, you can watch the complete, unedited version of the speech here.

Thank God for people like Stephen Fry. Irony intended.

I have an uncle "Buck" (yeah, I know…) who is 94 years old and who has been in and out of a hospital recently. When my father said he was going to visit a few months ago I figured it would be good to go with. It has been at LEAST 30 years since I was in the south and it is very interesting to say the least.

First of all it's pretty stinking hot and muggy. I guess that's to be expected in the summer but in the middle of October? The day we arrived it was 89 with wicked humidity (feels like 95 according the weather service) and if you did anything other than stand in the shade you were dripping with sweat. Especially when you are a pasty, soft northerner like me… Every business has the AC on full tilt and you practically catch instant pneumonia when you walk inside a building.

We drove out to see my aunt Loraine and cousin Shannon. My aunt is 87 and a wonderful person. Sharp as a tack and she and her daughter (66 years old) were just full of priceless quips and nuggets of southerness.

• First of all she keeps calling my father (who goes by "Professor Criminale" practically everywhere in Seattle) Billy. Leave it to a sibling to keep it real. Of course he calls her "Sis", a word I have never heard him utter ever.
• "I'll be in the back seat, I don't need a seatbelt."
• Shannon works in some government subsidized low income housing project where she handles the applications and which is "mostly full of minorities". She is not talking about Hispanics.
• A "colored man" used to come by and prune the fruit trees.

These conversations pretty much cemented what I perceive about the south.

When it's depicted in a cool black and white photo of your home town, when it evokes nostalgic thoughts (read: memories of experiences you never had), when it causes you to learn cool historic facts, and of course when it's not happening to you.

The University Week (a weekly email newsletter that all UW staff/faculty/students get and which I hardly ever read) featured an interesting article about Seattle in the Great Depression of the 1930s. And you can read more about this because 80 students did a bunch of research. I love this stuff.

I have never even seen a shanty town in person, never experienced real financial hardship; but of course seeing an amazing panoramic picture of it with the Smith Tower in the background is awesome. And when I say awesome I of course mean awe inspiring and not, "Dood, that is so rad…"

I have seen most of these pictures before but today when I heard a song by The Pogues on the radio I had to go back and check them out. Big mistake… These seem like the quintessential pictures that you would show your kids when they are considering hitting the road with a band instead of going to college. That or not brushing their teeth. I mean Jesus H, I had heard that Shane MacGowan had crap oral hygiene but it turns out he has nothing left to worry about - all of his teeth are f'n gone.

I'm not sure how this guy ever made it to 50 years old but damn it he did make it. How did he make it this far? According to him, it was all the drinking, smoking and partying. Case in point:

Recently the Seattle Post Intelligencer had to close it's doors. This was just the next in an ever growing list of print newspapers that have had to compete with similar 'free' services on the Internet.

The Associated Press has been fighting the dissemination of news via these free sources and it's going to lose. The cat is already out of the bag, the horse has already left the barn; pick any metaphor you want because it's too late to turn back the clock now and restrict the Internet.

Saul Hansell wrote a nice piece for the New York Times stating that the AP's real enemies are its customers. I agree.

Every time I go for a ride that is picture worthy I bring my camera. And so naturally I'm more likely to be behind the camera than in front of it. Now I'm not some sort of vain camera whore or anything but I like to document stuff and 'stuff' includes me so any time someone else takes a picture of me - be it on the bike or off - I love getting copies.

Last Friday I was racing at the track and when I got back to work on Monday there was a message in my inbox from a co-worker. Turns out her brother was in town and just happened to be at the track to watch some bike racing and to play with his camera.

When he heard the announcer mention my name it rang a bell (seems my co-worker had told him I raced bikes and that I did so on the track) and since he was playing around with the low light conditions anyway he squeezed off a few shots. He sent these to his sister and she sent them along to me. Nice.

I've been following Joe Friel on Twitter for a few days now and every damn day he says pretty much the same thing.

"Montrose to Crested Butte, CO. Long day in saddle. TSS 292."

At first it did not even realize he was using an acronym and them I'm like, what the hell does TSS mean? So I looked it up:

Training Stress Score (TSS) - The TSS represents a calculated number that takes into account the duration and intensity of a workout to arrive at a single score of the overall training load and physiological stress created by that session. One hour of functional threshold (as hard as you can go for one hour) = 100 Training Stress Score points.

Welcome to the new world. At one point you could just sort of rely on your breathing and how labored it was. Then came heart rate which was quickly eclipsed by power. And now there is TSS.

Shit. Soon you won't be able to exercise without toting along a CPU. Oh wait, that's already happening…

"How was your ride honey?"

"Well, my TSS was 255…"

Nice.

For all the problems that Twitter has faced recently with the system slowdowns, lack of delivery, spam, etc. it still does one thing really well and that is let you keep up with those that use it.

And really, isn't that what it's all about? I recently went on a binge of sorts and sought out all the professional cyclists I admire and began following them. Know what? It's really cool to read about their daily trials and tribulations. People like Robbie McEwen who is coming back after yet another horrific crash was just out and managed 1.5 hours on the bike and did 200 m at 45 km/hr.

It's heartening. It's interesting. It's educational. It's a huge time suck. But it's also a ton of fun.

Oh yeah, unless you have a cell plan with unlimited texts, perish the thought of sending updates to your mobile device for everyone you follow… good grief. I only get updates for my real friends now and view the rest via the web.

Good stuff for sure.

Thanks to my friend Hank K for this gem.

Oh. My. Freaking. God.

A friend posted this video on Facebook today:

and it is quite possibly the funniest IT movie I have ever seen in my entire life. That means it's damn funny. You have to watch it many times to catch all the jokes, like when:

• the IT guy keeps shooting the character in Halo in the balls while talking to the sales guy
• the IT guy opens the sales guy's mailbox in Outlook and deletes the sent mail
• the email with the warning about not rebooting the web server is displayed in huge, red letters
• the IT guy blames the sales guy for making him take down the web server incorrectly
• the IT guy blames the guy in the server room for taking down the Exchange server
• the sales guy admits to having the same icon arrangement for 8-9 years
• "You can't arrange them by penis."

But I digress. In the video the IT guy mentions posting a picture of the sales guy's desktop on Boing Boing and so of course I had to go there right away. Here is what I just saw:

http://www.boingboing.net/2009/05/08/woman-kills-elephant.html

This woman trained for months so that she could use a bow big enough to bring down an elephant? Oh man, how many more things could you spend months doing something useful? Reading comments like, "I waited overnight to make sure it was dead." make me sick. Obviously death was NOT very quick.

Sport hunting is ridiculous. And when I say ridiculous I of course mean that the hunter is retarded. Hello, if you're going to kill it, how about you eat it too? And then how about you donate everything you can't eat to organizations or industries that can use the stuff. You know, parts like hooves and hide, etc.

If you're going to waste your time, at least do something that does not require anything else to die. How about that.

Tune in next week when Martin goes off about something else.

Today at work one of our faculty sent out a link to a video and on a whim I watched it:

It was fascinating.

The speaker - Hans Rosling - started an organization called Gapminder (as in the British slogan "Mind the gap!" that pertains to their subway system) that endeavors to take existing data and display/present/explain it in such a manner that allows the layman (read: me and maybe you too) to understand it. Nice.

His premise is that we don't need new databases or more, obscure repositories to store data; rather we need to get it out to the public and make it accessible because by and large we do not know the truth about our world as it exists today.

There are so many noble causes out there but this one really struck a chord with me.

Nice. And no, this is not a drinking club.

We all imagine we want the chance to hit it (meaning exercise) during lunch or right after work but there are a million excuses. Not enough time, the drive takes too long, I have no idea what to do, who to do it with, etc. Well here is one less reason not to do something:

http://thursdaynightafterburners.com/

A friend told me about this group during spin class this morning and it looks great. Every Thursday at 5:45 they meet and at a pre-determined location (see the web site for all the details) and power hike a trail or peak.

All you need is a day pack, a light (you are starting at 5:45 after all!) and the appropriate footwear and clothing for the conditions. I'm sure some water, food and a camera wouldn't hurt either. :)

Having people to do stuff with and who show up regularly is half the battle in my experience, now get to hiking and stop procrastinating.

Me? I'm going for a bike ride.

"Slightly more than a hearty handshake." Love it.

When a NDA is overkill or awkwardly formal and you just want to spill the beans a little over a beer, what do you do to cover your ass? You whip out a FriendDA of course. Who hasn't been in the position where you just need to bounce something ingenious off a buddy and not get scooped?

Answer: Just try to cut it out of your diet…

Some extra stress in my life, the crummy weather we've been having, a lackluster race result, throw in an untimely zit and mix it all up with a bad day on the bathroom scale and Martin now has a sub-par self-image.

So what better to do than try and lose some weight, right? Right. That was a rhetorical question.

Weight loss and cycling have been married since the dawn of time, Lang R said it pretty well over at the Cycle University blog and I guess I'm not immune. My mind keeps going back to one ride after I stopped racing (a few years after college) that I attended right after adopting a vegetarian diet. I was riding much less than when I used to race and certainly not as fast but I had lost about 10 solid pounds when some friends and I went for a jaunt in the mountains down by Rainier. And I was climbing like crazy!

Not only was I climbing pretty well but my breathing was never labored. What a glorious feeling being able to keep up with racers while chatting.

ASIDE - another interesting (and when I say 'interesting' I of course mean 'not rational') thing about cyclists and probably athletes in general is that they hold themselves to the highest standard that they have ever achieved. Instead of being realistic about the goals they can attain because of fitness or age or ability to train, they lament the good old days when they were at some brief, difficult to attain peak of fitness.

Well that one ride or that peak kind of sticks with you. And when your ability to train is limited (for good reasons I'll grant you - stuff like family, work, having a life off the bike and maintaining friendships, etc.) you still constantly live in the past replaying your (probably brief) moments of glory over and over in your mind. Sometimes this human VCR behavior is accompanied by intensive intervals of couch time super setted with Costco size bags of potato chips and whatever local micro brew is in season which unfortunately only compounds the problem. Well, the feelings of inadequacy and slothliness anyway.

All this is a long way of saying that I am now on day two of Martin's no sugar and alcohol regime.

I'd like to lose a few pounds for racing and figure this is hopefully an easy way to get the job done plus also a healthy thing to do. Sugar and alcohol seem like the epitome of empty calories to me. Fun yes, but not anything to worry about if it's gone. As much as I believe you can eat most anything when you are exercising a lot, I also believe you should still try to eat a lot of GOOD things instead of crap. At work people are constantly bringing cookies, cake, chocolate, treats, etc. to the front office and we also get the catering leftovers from staff meetings, recruitment sessions and faculty events. We get a LOT of food and I (usually) have zero will power to resist. My goal is to change that. For a while anyway.

ANOTHER ASIDE - at what point do you reach a milestone when embarking on a course like this? I imagine that 24 hours is one, and maybe 72 hours is another. Then a week probably and then a month? Who knows if I will make it that long, i seriously doubt it… They say that to effectively lose weight you need to change your lifestyle and not go on a diet and I believe that.

So back to the point of this post. Once I decided to not eat any sugar I am f'n CRAVING things like a peanut butter cookie, ice cream and a nice piece of dark chocolate. Oh my god, I feel like what I imagine a smoker that is trying to quit feels like. Okay, not. That has got to be much harder; but hyperbole can be used for effect and I want some drama here.

And what did I buy just before deciding to do this…?! An 18-pack of Bud Light, that's what. :( Don't get me wrong, Bud Light is not Martin's idea of the next Oktoberfest gold medal beer or anything but when you are thirsty and just want something refreshing, it sure hits the spot without weighing you down. Hey, that could be a slogan…!

How bad was that 'bad' day on the scale you ask? It was about one week ago and the scale read 183. OMG shut up you say. Well I hear you but I also know that I need to really strong at 180 to climb well and if I'm 175 or less it gets noticeably easier. In the winter my weight usually hovers around 185 and in the summer - if we have one - I usually get down to 175 at some point. So I got myself all jacked up, got my psych on, made the decision yesterday and then this morning I stepped on the scale. 176. WTF?

I should know better. I bet my weight varies up to five pounds depending on how hydrated or stuffed I am so I will need to back off of the snap judgments and just build a baseline by weighing myself at the same time of day for several days here. What's the goal? A consistent 175 or slightly less. If I can hold that for a few weeks then I'll be happy.

Sheesh, after reading this you might think that:

• Martin is a girl
• Martin is off (or on depending on your perspective) his medication
• Martin has taken cycling at the local/club level and blown it WAY out of proportion
• Martin isn't listening to his own advice and is still living in the past
• Martin just needs to throw his scale in the nearest dumpster and ride harder
• Martin needs to man up and stop blogging about things like weight, maybe switch to something like trucks or guns or hot chicks or hot chicks that shoot guns while driving trucks

And you might be justified. We'll see if I make that second and third milestone or if I fall off the wagon and into a bottomless Guinness ice cream float.

Some people will do anything to have an excuse to drink. I know, I went to college…

We used to play 'complicated' games like quarters (if you can bounce a quarter off the table into a glass the owner of the glass drinks) or Gilligan (where you watch episodes of Gilligan's Island and every time you hear the word Gilligan everyone drinks) but in a pinch you could always find someone to play the most basic of all: as soon as one person finishes their drink everyone else needs to catch up. Repeat.

Here at the UW some IT folks have put together a 'club' called DIVE (Drink In Various Establishments). Nice.

Of course they setup a (by owner approval only) mailing list for the club to coordinate the roughly bi-weekly outings and of course I managed to get on it. Not sure why really, I'll be living vicariously through this list 99 percent of the time as I am so rarely free after work to just hang out.

Maybe I should work on that.

One of the sponsors of my team - IJM.org Racing - is Cycle University. Every winter they hold an indoor time trial series that has been really well attended this year and last year. It consists of eight CompuTrainers positioned side-by-side and everyone races each other on a 10 km rolling course. Times range from around 14 minutes for elite/pro riders to a little over 15 minutes for mere mortals like myself to maybe 18-22 minutes for recreational cyclists or beginning racers.

I have always done fairly well in this series because I participate in a large number of these races, consistency seems to be key.

This year I won.

You hear that? I WON.

I am totally making a mountain out of a mole hill here.

Every once in a while an ad campaign comes along that really resonates with you. And when I say 'you' in this case I of course mean me. Be it the "Just do it" one from Nike or the "Real Men of Genius" series for Bud Light or the Mac vs. PC ads from Apple; these campaigns all strike a chord that makes us laugh, feel somehow included in a special club (probably because we can relate in some way…) and want to incessantly repeat them to all of our friends.

The latest one to stretch an irrepressible grin across my face is the ad for the Pomegranate phone.

I'm not going to give it away - oh no, you need to watch this and and browse all the features - but what a timely, current, hilarious ad. And you know, if they had not made it quite so outrageous (HD projector? coffee maker?) it would fool a lot more people. As it is, I bet there is still someone out there that when they watch this will be racing across their own little sea of cubes in order to be the first person to tell the 'cool' guy or the 'tech' guy in the office about this great new product that will soon be available. There always is.

This Swiss Army knife style of a phone does make you wonder how far this trend of including everything under the sun can go? And will there ever be a backlash and a return to a simpler time? I think I'll beat the rush and go get my Jitterbug now.

Oh man... for anyone that has 1) ever owned a sport bike and 2) is familiar with the attitude that exists when it comes to brand preference and 3) speaks German and 4) has seen this film, this is one FUNNY movie. Just kidding, this is one damn funny movie even if you don't meet all those criteria.

Including www.criminale.com! Nice. Go on, make your favorite site bacolicio.us, you know you want to.

My phone is broken, it happened last night. Amazing how much I miss it already.

No more email, text messages, no more Facebook on the go, no more Twitter updates; how did I ever manage without one way back when? I suppose once I manage to work my way through the five stages of grief I might feel liberated but right now I'm just bummed and lonely.

Oh yeah, and I can't make any calls or check voicemail either. Did I mention that my home phone is forwarded to my mobile? Good grief. The replacement better arrive soon. Kinda makes one feel like an addict, eh? Yep, sure does.

So, what did Martin get? Well, I really liked what I had so I got it again, the T-Mobile Dash:

Why you ask? Well, my carrier is T-Mobile so the iPhone was not an option and I use Microsoft Exchange for email so Windows Mobile is good and we just switched to a my Favs plan and I think it's great so the phone had to be compatible with that technology. Besides, except for the small display I really like this phone a lot.

I did seriously consider the G1 but it's actually really limited if you want to connect to anything but a Google service. No ActiveSync, no support for Hotmail/Windows Live; just IMAP, POP3 and Google. But damn, it sure has a nice feel, keyboard and display size...

Oh well, now I will have an extra battery and charger. :)

Once again Matt Groening proves that he has his finger on the pulse of (geeky) America by spoofing the Apple ads. This movie got taken down from YouTube pronto (duh...) but if you can tolerate the slow download, you can get it here:

http://www.criminale.com/download/The_Simpsons-Mapple.wmv [23 MB]

One word: (very, very) funny

Colored, durable; what else do you need in a condom? Durex thinks you need a funny video and I agree.

Listen for the squeal in the second scene - brilliant.

Nice...!

Oh man, Shelley and I just got home from our first ever skate ski vacation and it was great. Great for me anyway, Shelley's back got progressively worse the entire trip so that put a big damper on things.

I finally learned what the Methow Community Trail is all about, That Mark W has his own business in Winthrop and has been living in the Methow for 10 years and got to connect - albeit very briefly - with Don P who runs the Methow Valley Ski School.

Here are the pictures.

I want to go back right now.

I gotta say, the automobile manufacturer bailout has me feeling just like this:

I mean, what say do we have? It's now up to the Federal Government and the Senate and they will decide what is best for America.

One the one hand that is what they are elected to do and on the other there are times (like this one) when I'm screaming, "Nooooo......!" Sheesh.

There is no doubt that if they default or fail it will have a HUGE impact on this country. Think of all the jobs that will be lost in manufacturing not to mention all the complimentary industries like automobile dealers, parts suppliers, etc., etc. Sucks to be in that line of work.

Once again SNL had me cracking up with their German coat skit.

Not like it was hard... all you have to do is spend the money. I'm now entered in the Las Vegas Half Marathon which other than the Jingle Bell Run (that I did a couple of times with a friend ages ago) will be my only other running race ever.

The hard part - at least so I hear - will be to run enough so that I can actually finish this running and not walking. Here's hoping. :) Check out my training diary to see my progress if you want. Or not.

ASIDE - now that I'll be doing a real running event I of course had to get an accessory. No, not an Elvis wig (although that seems to be popular at this event), I got a Road ID bracelet. Not bad, I can wear this cycling too. Running,at least to a n00b like me, is so devoid of gear! What's a gear hound like me going to do?

up pops some nut job like this.

I guess some background is appropriate here. I work at the UW and they recently launched an emergency notification system that you can subscribe to via email or SMS text messages. Today at 1:44 PM we got this message.

SUBJECT

UW Alert Seattle

BODY

Dear Martin Criminale,

Incident in Red Square. Male set self on fire, taken to hospital. No other persons injured. Area is secure. Ck. Web for updates.

Nice... and it's not even finals yet. This guy actually set himself on fire. On FIRE. The image that immediately came to mind was the Buddhist monk that burned himself to death in protest during the Vietnam war. Jesus H.

By now most everyone has seen the letter from Anne Kilkenny about Sarah Palin that was posted on the Internet a few weeks ago and as I read the various blogs and whatnot, I'm finding that most everyone has omitted the first bit where she requests that this not be posted on the web. So what's my excuse? Just that it's already out in the public domain I guess, and that she obviously meant this to be read by a lot of people. Oh, and I did find one web site that claimed to have received her permission to post it in its entirety.

A few things are (not so) striking.

1. This is getting a shit ton of press but is it really surprising? That's rhetorical, the answer is obviously no. The American public loves a good story and this, meaning the presidential race, is the ultimate reality show.
2. Just the other day I saw that Sarah Palin's personal Yahoo email account got hacked as well. Nice. You really put yourself under the microscope when you run for public office but that should be NO surprise to anyone by now, right...? I guess not. Sarah still has lots to learn. And that's okay, I just wish she would learn it when she does not have the potential to become our commander in chief.

Anyway, here it is.

August 31, 2008

Dear friends,

So many people have asked me about what I know about Sarah Palin in the last 2 days that I decided to write something up . . .

Basically, Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton have only 2 things in common: their gender and their good looks. :)

You have my permission to forward this to your friends/email contacts with my name and email address attached, but please do not post it on any websites, as there are too many kooks out there . . .

Thanks,

Anne

ABOUT SARAH PALIN

I am a resident of Wasilla, Alaska. I have known Sarah since 1992. Everyone here knows Sarah, so it is nothing special to say we are on a first-name basis. Our children have attended the same schools. Her father was my child's favorite substitute teacher. I also am on a first name basis with her parents and mother-in-law. I attended more City Council meetings during her administration than about 99% of the residents of the city.

She is enormously popular; in every way she's like the most popular girl in middle school. Even men who think she is a poor choice and won't vote for her can't quit smiling when talking about her because she is a "babe".

It is astonishing and almost scary how well she can keep a secret. She kept her most recent pregnancy a secret from her children and parents for seven months.

She is "pro-life". She recently gave birth to a Down's syndrome baby. There is no cover-up involved, here; Trig is her baby.

She is energetic and hardworking. She regularly worked out at the gym.

She is savvy. She doesn't take positions; she just "puts things out there" and if they prove to be popular, then she takes credit.

Her husband works a union job on the North Slope for BP and is a champion snowmobile racer. Todd Palin's kind of job is highly sought-after because of the schedule and high pay. He arranges his work schedule so he can fish for salmon in Bristol Bay for a month or so in summer, but by no stretch of the imagination is fishing their major source of income. Nor has her life-style ever been anything like that of native Alaskans.

Sarah and her whole family are avid hunters.

She's smart.

Her experience is as mayor of a city with a population of about 5,000 (at the time), and less than 2 years as governor of a state with about 670,000 residents.

During her mayoral administration most of the actual work of running this small city was turned over to an administrator. She had been pushed to hire this administrator by party power-brokers after she had gotten herself into some trouble over precipitous firings which had given rise to a recall campaign.

Sarah campaigned in Wasilla as a "fiscal conservative". During her 6 years as Mayor, she increased general government expenditures by over 33%. During those same 6 years the amount of taxes collected by the City increased by 38%. This was during a period of low inflation (1996-2002). She reduced progressive property taxes and increased a regressive sales tax which taxed even food. The tax cuts that she promoted benefited large corporate property owners way more than they benefited residents.

The huge increases in tax revenues during her mayoral administration weren't enough to fund everything on her wish list though, borrowed money was needed, too. She inherited a city with zero debt, but left it with indebtedness of over $22 million. What did Mayor Palin encourage the voters to borrow money for? Was it the infrastructure that she said she supported? The sewage treatment plant that the city lacked? or a new library? No. $1m for a park. $15m-plus for construction of a multi-use sports complex which she rushed through to build on a piece of property that the City didn't even have clear title to, that was still in litigation 7 yrs later--to the delight of the lawyers involved! The sports complex itself is a nice addition to the community but a huge money pit, not the profit-generator she claimed it would be. She also supported bonds for $5.5m for road projects that could have been done in 5-7 yrs without any borrowing.

While Mayor, City Hall was extensively remodeled and her office redecorated more than once.

These are small numbers, but Wasilla is a very small city.

As an oil producer, the high price of oil has created a budget surplus in Alaska. Rather than invest this surplus in technology that will make us energy independent and increase efficiency, as Governor she proposed distribution of this surplus to every individual in the state.

In this time of record state revenues and budget surpluses, she recommended that the state borrow/bond for road projects, even while she proposed distribution of surplus state revenues: spend today's surplus, borrow for needs.

She's not very tolerant of divergent opinions or open to outside ideas or compromise. As Mayor, she fought ideas that weren't generated by her or her staff. Ideas weren't evaluated on their merits, but on the basis of who proposed them.

While Sarah was Mayor of Wasilla she tried to fire our highly respected City Librarian because the Librarian refused to consider removing from the library some books that Sarah wanted removed. City residents rallied to the defense of the City Librarian and against Palin's attempt at out-and-out censorship, so Palin backed down and withdrew her termination letter. People who fought her attempt to oust the Librarian are on her enemies list to this day.

Sarah complained about the "old boy's club" when she first ran for Mayor, so what did she bring Wasilla? A new set of "old boys". Palin fired most of the experienced staff she inherited. At the City and as Governor she hired or elevated new, inexperienced, obscure people, creating a staff totally dependent on her for their jobs and eternally grateful and fiercely loyal--loyal to the point of abusing their power to further her personal agenda, as she has acknowledged happened in the case of pressuring the State's top cop (see below).

As Mayor, Sarah fired Wasilla's Police Chief because he "intimidated" her, she told the press. As Governor, her recent firing of Alaska's top cop has the ring of familiarity about it. He served at her pleasure and she had every legal right to fire him, but it's pretty clear that an important factor in her decision to fire him was because he wouldn't fire her sister's ex-husband, a State Trooper. Under investigation for abuse of power, she has had to admit that more than 2 dozen contacts were made between her staff and family to the person that she later fired, pressuring him to fire her ex-brother-in-law. She tried to replace the man she fired with a man who she knew had been reprimanded for sexual harassment; when this caused a public furor, she withdrew her support.

She has bitten the hand of every person who extended theirs to her in help. The City Council person who personally escorted her around town introducing her to voters when she first ran for Wasilla City Council became one of her first targets when she was later elected Mayor. She abruptly fired her loyal City Administrator; even people who didn't like the guy were stunned by this ruthlessness.

Fear of retribution has kept all of these people from saying anything publicly about her.

When then-Governor Murkowski was handing out political plums, Sarah got the best, Chair of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission: one of the few jobs not in Juneau and one of the best paid. She had no background in oil & gas issues. Within months of scoring this great job which paid $122,400/yr, she was complaining in the press about the high salary. I was told that she hated that job: the commute, the structured hours, the work. Sarah became aware that a member of this Commission (who was also the State Chair of the Republican Party) engaged in unethical behavior on the job. In a gutsy move which some undoubtedly cautioned her could be political suicide, Sarah solved all her problems in one fell swoop: got out of the job she hated and garnered gobs of media attention as the patron saint of ethics and as a gutsy fighter against the "old boys' club" when she dramatically quit, exposing this man's ethics violations (for which he was fined).

As Mayor, she had her hand stuck out as far as anyone for pork from Senator Ted Stevens. Lately, she has castigated his pork-barrel politics and publicly humiliated him. She only opposed the "bridge to nowhere" after it became clear that it would be unwise not to.

As Governor, she gave the Legislature no direction and budget guidelines, then made a big grandstand display of line-item vetoing projects, calling them pork. Public outcry and further legislative action restored most of these projects--which had been vetoed simply because she was not aware of their importance--but with the unobservant she had gained a reputation as "anti-pork".

She is solidly Republican: no political maverick. The State party leaders hate her because she has bit them in the back and humiliated them. Other members of the party object to her self-description as a fiscal conservative.

Around Wasilla there are people who went to high school with Sarah. They call her "Sarah Barracuda" because of her unbridled ambition and predatory ruthlessness. Before she became so powerful, very ugly stories circulated around town about shenanigans she pulled to be made point guard on the high school basketball team. When Sarah's mother-in-law, a highly respected member of the community and experienced manager, ran for Mayor, Sarah refused to endorse her.

As Governor, she stepped outside of the box and put together of package of legislation known as "AGIA" that forced the oil companies to march to the beat of her drum.

Like most Alaskans, she favors drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. She has questioned if the loss of sea ice is linked to global warming. She campaigned "as a private citizen" against a state initiative that would have either a) protected salmon streams from pollution from mines, or b) tied up in the courts all mining in the state (depending on who you listen to). She has pushed the State's lawsuit against the Dept. of the Interior's decision to list polar bears as threatened species.

McCain is the oldest person to ever run for President; Sarah will be a heartbeat away from being President.

There has to be literally millions of Americans who are more knowledgeable and experienced than she.

However, there's a lot of people who have underestimated her and are regretting it.

CLAIM VS FACT

*"Hockey mom": true for a few years.

*"PTA mom": true years ago when her first-born was in elementary school, not since.

*"NRA supporter": absolutely true

*social conservative: mixed. Opposes gay marriage, BUT vetoed a bill that would have denied benefits to employees in same-sex relationships (said she did this because it was unconstitutional).

*pro-creationism: mixed. Supports it, BUT did nothing as Governor to promote it.

*"Pro-life": mixed. Knowingly gave birth to a Down's syndrome baby BUT declined to call a special legislative session on some pro-life legislation

*"Experienced": Some high schools have more students than Wasilla has residents. Many cities have more residents than the state of Alaska. No legislative experience other than City Council. Little hands-on supervisory or managerial experience; needed help of a city administrator to run town of about 5,000.

*political maverick: not at all

*gutsy: absolutely!

*open & transparent: ??? Good at keeping secrets. Not good at explaining actions.

*has a developed philosophy of public policy: no

*"a Greenie": no. Turned Wasilla into a wasteland of big box stores and disconnected parking lots. Is pro-drilling off-shore and in ANWR.

*fiscal conservative: not by my definition!

*pro-infrastructure: No. Promoted a sports complex and park in a city without a sewage treatment plant or storm drainage system. Built streets to early 20th century standards.

*pro-tax relief: Lowered taxes for businesses, increased tax burden on residents

*pro-small government: No. Oversaw greatest expansion of city government in Wasilla's history.

*pro-labor/pro-union. No. Just because her husband works union doesn't make her pro-labor. I have seen nothing to support any claim that she is pro-labor/pro-union.

WHY AM I WRITING THIS?

First, I have long believed in the importance of being an informed voter. I am a voter registrar. For 10 years I put on student voting programs in the schools. If you google my name (Anne Kilkenny + Alaska), you will find references to my participation in local government, education, and PTA/parent organizations.

Secondly, I've always operated in the belief that "Bad things happen when good people stay silent". Few people know as much as I do because few have gone to as many City Council meetings.

Third, I am just a housewife. I don't have a job she can bump me out of. I don't belong to any organization that she can hurt. But, I am no fool; she is immensely popular here, and it is likely that this will cost me somehow in the future: that's life.

Fourth, she has hated me since back in 1996, when I was one of the 100 or so people who rallied to support the City Librarian against Sarah's attempt at censorship.

Fifth, I looked around and realized that everybody else was afraid to say anything because they were somehow vulnerable.

CAVEATS

I am not a statistician. I developed the numbers for the increase in spending & taxation 2 years ago (when Palin was running for Governor) from information supplied to me by the Finance Director of the City of Wasilla, and I can't recall exactly what I adjusted for: did I adjust for inflation? for population increases? Right now, it is impossible for a private person to get any info out of City Hall--they are swamped. So I can't verify my numbers.

You may have noticed that there are various numbers circulating for the population of Wasilla, ranging from my "about 5,000", up to 9,000. The day Palin's selection was announced a city official told me that the current population is about 7,000. The official 2000 census count was 5,460. I have used about 5,000 because Palin was Mayor from 1996 to 2002, and the city was growing rapidly in the mid-90's.

Anne Kilkenny

August 31, 2008

I saw this Microsoft ad on television the other day (read: several weeks ago) and thought it was pretty good:

What's interesting is after it came out I heard people whining that the ad was not as funny as the Mac ads or Jerry did not do a good job delivering some of the punch lines or that it was not received well by the general public or what have you. Well hey, I think ANYTHING Microsoft does to make fun of itself or just show that it has a creative side has got to be good. It's too easy to poke fun at the 300 lb gorilla and be all indie and cool a rebel but at least this add created some buzz for Microsoft and I bet that is all it was supposed to do.

So, then along comes the revised, specifically aimed at Apple response to the "I'm a Mac" ads:

To me this IS bad. This kind of reactionary response to another company or their ad campaign isn't the best way to go. It just confirms that Apple won that round and that Microsoft is feeling the heat. Better to do something else entirely and fail than to be perceived as needing damage control.

Ben Hardwidge from Custom PC said it well.

"Of course, the whole 'I'm a Mac and I'm a PC' thing is pretty irrelevant anyway, when you consider that Macs are now based on the same Intel hardware as many PCs. We're really talking about operating systems rather than computer standards here and, let's face it, Microsoft isn't being particularly original by parodying the ads of its competitors."

Why does it seem that Microsoft can only hire lame ad agencies...? The best thing they could do would be to make us laugh out loud by making fun of themselves. All of these celebrities in this ad smack of desperation, "Hey, we really are credible and popular, please like us!"

Duh... no one doubts that they are popular but you need to have something original to say or it's just, well, not very original.

Boy, pretty soon we'll be talking about real money! [deadpan]

Cripes, yesterday Shelley sent me this link here:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26787984/from/ET/

Now I am NO accountant but a 500 billion dollar bailout rubs me the wrong way. And while we're on the subject, I'm not a fan of airlines getting floated by our government either. It's whacked, we purport to be capitalist and then we break up monopolies when companies become too successful and we also bail them out when they fail.

Obviously there are repercussions to this situation either way and you don't want to hammer the 'common man' because he invested his life savings in a firm managed by some over-zealous, 30-something, gotta-one-up-my-co-worker investment banker but sheesh...  Either lots of people lose their money or we have to pay up so they don't. Sucks.

How many times do I need to see this footer on emails that I receive...? We all know what happened, right? Someone at Apple figured this was marketing genius and a great way to spread the gospel. Well guess what Mr. Apple marketing man, after seeing this footer for the one hundredth time it becomes either 1) invisible because you are totally desensitized to it or in my case it's 2) really annoying because now I have yet one more line of text to scroll past on my mobile device in order to read the entire conversation thread.

The other day there was an outdoor concert at work and a comedian was the opener. After warming the crowd up a bit he launched right into his iPhone rant. It went something like this.

"I got an email the other day and at the bottom it said, "Sent from an iPhone". Nice going. You know what, who cares what kind of phone you have. Is this kind of posturing really necessary? I've got an idea; why don't you stick your iPhone up your ass, take a picture of it and then email it to yourself."

I was in tears.

By the way; the same thing goes for those massive signatures that include quotes by famous people that some people feel the need to send along WITH EVERY REPLY AND FORWARD. Just say no.

So... do you think this will really work?

https://www.catalogchoice.org/

You are supposed to able to create a profile and then elect not to receive catalogs from anyone who is sending you one currently. Since I'm a huge sucker for not getting mail I threw caution to the wind and signed up. I love the mission and they are endorsed by everyone and their dog (including hopefully me soon) but what if a business does not volunteer to sign up with this service?

I bet there is math out there that proves it's more profitable to send millions or catalogs out, have 999,000 end up in some landfill - meaning the other 1,000 get used to buy stuff - than to let people opt out. I mean if you don't get the catalog, how are you going to know you can spend money on this retailer? You get the idea.

Shit, here's hoping it works.

NOTE - I did not have to provide my full name in my profile so I didn't.

I already love cheese and I just discovered another one that is to die for. Trader Joe's Cave Aged Gruyere.

But I had to know, what the hell does 'cave aged' mean? So I went and found out. No wonder I like it. Take an already fantastic cheese - Swiss Gruyere - lovingly place it in a sandstone cave (or warehouse not doubt - but I'm sticking with the cave image no matter what) and let it get all crumbly, sharp and oh so delicious for 12 MONTHS. Think of a sharp, white cheddar and you'll start to get the picture. Only this is better.

Three more words: tastes like more.

So I get a new pair of shoes, okay? Nothing special, just a pair of black, leather, sorta nice, slip-on shoes. Last Monday I wore them to work for the first time; along with a pair of good looking jeans and long sleeve shirt.

A couple of days ago while I'm helping one of our staff with a computer problem she says to me, "How come you were all dressed up the other day? You're not interviewing are you?"

?!

It made me realize that my work 'uniform' basically is raggedy-ass faded jeans, any old top and either slip-on Vans or Converse in the winter or shorts and a T-shirt (same shoes) in the summer. Throw in some fabulous cycling socks and I look like a hobo eight hours a day, five days a week.

It was kind of a wake up call as I'm usually the guy making superior fashion judgments about anyone I pass on the street. :( Now who's laughing. Not me. That was rhetorical.

Never, in all my years of college, high school (hell, ANY school) did I think I would ever utter these words. Now that I'm out of school and doing my own thing it seems I can't sleep in if my life depends on it. Thinking back it might have started when I began going to the gym early in the morning with a friend about 10 years ago but really, is this kind of thing truly learned or are there just morning people and evening people?

Since that day way back when I have been getting up at around 5 am on most weekdays on a fairly regular basis and now come the weekend or, heaven forbid, a vacation where you are fully, 100 percent able to sleep in I am unable to do so. Like today. I woke up at 5 and finally got out of bed at 6 and now I'm sitting here typing.

If you ask Shelley the answer is clear. I'm a morning person (read: freak, weirdo) and she's normal. On weekdays I regularly get home from the gym and she's still in bed. On weekends she can wake up to tell me goodbye as I leave for a ride, roll over and be asleep in a heartbeat. In fact, she'll set her alarm on the weekends just so she can turn it off and go back to sleep with the feeling of satisfaction that she does not need to get up. Not me. Once that alarm goes off I'm done for. Even if I just have to get up at 4 or 5 to visit the bathroom I'm finished. I'll go back to bed but just lie there staring a the ceiling.

You might say, "Martin, why are you fighting this? Think of all the extra time you have each day that most other people don't." Well it's not exactly like that you see... I might wake up early but then come 8 pm; unless I'm actively doing something, I shut down pretty fast. We'll be watching a movie or (trying to) read books when all of a sudden my head hits the couch/pillow. The only exceptions seem to be when we're out with friends, at a party, you know, doing stuff. Sadly there is one other exception; the computer. I can sit and mess with shit for hours it seems. There have been times when my ability to stay awake in front of the glowing LCD has been kinda ridiculous in fact.

On those days when I don't get to bed until late and only get six (or five or four) or so hours of sleep I still seem to do okay. I'm not one of those people that has a second job at night or some massive hobby they do when everyone else in the house falls asleep but I do seem to do alright with less sleep than some.

But sometimes I really want to sleep in... I have vivid (and fond) memories of being able to shut my eyes, go back to sleep and then have breakfast at lunch time. Plus, there are times when your body just needs more sleep. Mine needs it too but it refuses to get it. Thinking back I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say seven hours is the most I have slept in years. What's that you say? Eight is normal? Whatever.

If this is one of the affects of aging I guess it could be a lot worse. I could be going to the bathroom not just at 4 but at 2, 2:45, 3:30... you get the idea.

About one year ago Shelley took me to the Ace Hotel for a night of urban camping. It was a blast! So a couple of weeks ago I started looking around for another fun place to shack up on this special occasion. And I found it: Hotel Max.

I read some reviews and they said it had lots of great art, was kind of funky and had really great beds. Say no more.

It was so much fun! We got room service for dinner, some beer and chocolate from a deli down the street, spilled soup all over my jacket and a chair, lit candles and watched a movie.

The next day we slept in (which feels totally luxurious on a week day) and then drove home and went to work. For a half day. :)

Here are all the pictures, I'm bummed I didn't take more. This is one nice place.

Who knew a feather boa was not only good looking but good for you too... Clearly I need to rethink this whole cycling routine I have going and give burlesque equal consideration. Think of all the fabulous outfits I would be able to wear! Plus I might get tips, no none tips you when you ride your bike, that's for sure...

The Goddess Workout - Cardio Burlesque "Whip"

Just say no to boring old Lycra.

What would we do without the Internet? Well for one we'd all be wasting gobs of money on expensive tripods and taking blurry pictures. Thank heavens we have it. Say hello to the $1 image stabilizer for your camera:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1041948/1_image_stabilizer_for_any_camera_lose_the_tripod/

incredible.

You know how sometimes hearing just the right song at just the right time can mix the chemicals in your blood just so and fire the neurons in your brain just right and turn you into a weeping baby? That just happened to me. Holy crap, the human body is way too complicated...

But to the point of this post - what made me feel this way is also freaking cool! Check it out:

http://www.theunseenvideo.com/video/youmakemefeel.html

This is Mike Milosh performing "You Make Me Feel" and the song is amazing. The video is also amazing as it changes depending on your geographic location and the weather you are currently experiencing.

Now that - in my humble opinion - is what the Internet is for.

Every year cycling teams get presented to the press when the new season gets underway. Sponsors - especially new ones - love the exposure and it's a chance for interviews, autograph signing and lots of picture taking. Here in the US teams usually show up to these events in their matching sweat suits and running shoes. Maybe the entire team even has on matching wicking briefs.

Well let's look at how the Italians do this. Here is team LPR Brakes at their formal presentation. Nice.

Say hello to Euro style and a Euro pro team budget.

That's what my friend's doctor just told him. Tony C (that's my friend) is going to need to have his hip replaced.

Now other than reading about Floyd Landis and his hip, I know next to nothing about this procedure and it sounds at best pretty damn scary and confusing. Tony was told he's going to have the  procedure in May and then it's six months of recovery.

ASIDE - imagine walking into your doctor's office and having him drop this bomb. That's exactly how it went down. "Your hip has to go, we can schedule the procedure in May." No segue, no sugar coating, just the short,sharp heart punch.

Now I must be one of the luckiest people around because other than my back - which I'm only now starting to realize is a lifelong deal - I have never had to take six months to recover from anything. Most of my friends have all broken bones, had a concussion, you name it. But me? I complain when I can't exercise for more than one week. Just ask Shelley what it's like when we go on a vacation. And when I say 'vacation' I of course mean travel to exotic locations and do stuff like hike for a week on one of the hardest trails in the world or ride a week long mountain bike stage race. Even when we went to Kauai last spring I was still whining about sitting around as much as we did. Man, I must suck to vacation with.

But enough about me, this is about Tony; and his hip. Here is what the doctor told him he was going to get:

http://www.biomet.com/hcp/prodpage.cfm?s=090F&p=0D03

With features like, "maximizes ROM", and, "One piece cobalt chrome design", how can you go wrong? Wait, what about this one here, "Simple Instrumentation". Huh...?! In this day and age you need to not only know how to shop for a car and a house but for your frigging hip! Nothing like sweating that decision. Jesus.

To top it off his doctor told him his other hip is about 10-15 years away from needing replacement as well. Nice. Ever had your wisdom teeth out? Any other really fun procedure? Now imagine having to look forward to that procedure again. Kinda puts everything else into perspective.

I see said the blind man to his deaf friend... whatever. I always thought that joke was kind of like getting hit over the head with a blunt object anyway. The point (which is totally unrelated to this intro) is that we are frequently blind to the truth when it's staring us right in the face.

Andy (one of my co-workers) recently underwent some disaster training here at the UW. This means he is now qualified to wear a dayglo hat on his head, a whistle around his neck and carry a clipboard so he can check off the names of people that died in the earthquake and were not able to run out of the building. During this training he was given an emergency preparedness kit which contained among other things some matches, a flashlight, a first aid kit and this energy bar. Yesterday he noticed it was past the expiration date and was going to toss it but I intercepted it. That's right, no food bar is too stale for Martin "let me shove that in my mouth and to hell with the consequences" Criminale.

Now I know it's silly but I usually associate energy bars with a healthy lifestyle meaning that they are relatively good for you. Most have a good ratio of carbohydrate to protein and fat and some are vitamin fortified as well. This bar blows that theory out of the water.

First of all,check out the name, "New Millennium Energy Bar". It sounds either like something that is really new or something that is supposed to last through the millennium. I'm thinking it's the later. And they vacuum pack this thing like it's going to need to survive some sort of crash test or break the underwater submersion record for a food bar:

Can you see how tight the wrapper is around the bar? And that's no ultra thin Mylar like PowerBar uses, no sir. I could use those edges to scrape the frost off of my windshield. Enough foreplay, let's open this thing up.

Wow, that doesn't look anything like any energy bar I have ever seen... Why, it looks like a cookie; shortbread actually. So I took a bite and while I was chewing I turned it over and read the ingredients.

Damn, it is shortbread.

Nutrition Facts: Calories 409, Protein 8g, Carbohydrates 53g, Fat 19g.

Ingredients: Wheat flour, Vegetable shortening, Cane and Corn Sugars, Dried Coconut, Corn Starch, Corn Syrup, Natural Flavors.

The firs thing that I noticed was that it contained 409 calories...?! What other energy bar has that many? Then I saw that it contained fully 2/3 of your daily recommended intake of fat. Ah... now things are a little more clear. This is an 'energy' bar in the sense that is supposed to keep you alive, not in the sense that it is supposed to be good quality fuel when you are sweatin' to the oldies on your indoor trainer or trying to set a new PR at the local century. Nope, this is all about how to pack the most fuel into the smallest package and keep it dirt cheap at the same time. The solution? Flour and shortening. Nice.

Lastly I had to check out the company that makes these things, S.O.S. Food Lab, Inc. Yikes! Prepare yourself for full-on FrontPage web site hell. Does that rainbow colored, arching text remind you of Microsoft Publisher...? Oh yes, it does.

So what did this thing taste like? Just like cherry flavored shortbread. And did I eat it all? Of course. I hate myself.

I just got an email from a good friend of mine who is trying to lose a little weight and get a little fitter and he was asking me this question:

"I understand that it is important (was going to say imperative) that protein be ingested within 20-25 minutes of working out. Have you heard such a thing?"

This kind of question proves just how effective all the marketing hype that we drown in on a daily basis really is. Before I continue I probably need to preface this by admitting that I'm not studying to be a nutritionist on the side or anything but here is what I know.

When you exercise your body uses glycogen. Glycogen is the fuel inside of your muscles and is made when your body assimilates and process anything you eat. Your muscles can't use straight up carbohydrates or protein or fat, your body has to break this stuff down and turn it into glycogen first.

There is a 'window of opportunity' after you exercise that your body will absorb new muscle glycogen much for quickly than if you wait. That window is about 30-45 minutes depending on who you talk to. Bottom line is you are supposed to consume something that is easily absorbed pretty quickly after you work out if you want to work out again in the near future and not feel toasted.

ASIDE – if you are not going to work out hard again within the next day or two, it probably does not matter much what you do. Your body will replace all the lost muscle glycogen in time but it might take a couple of days for you to be fully stocked up again.

So, what will your body absorb the fastest? People used to think it was pure carbohydrate but now it's common knowledge that a 4:1 ratio of carbohydrate to protein is absorbed the quickest. That's why drinks like Endurox R4 and such all use this ratio. If you only consume carbohydrate it will help a lot but not as much as if you eat/drink something with this ratio. Pure protein and pure fat are both broken down and absorbed MUCH more slowly than pure carbohydrate.

All this protein, protein, protein hype is one of my pet peeves... You see this in magazines, in ads for products, at stores like GNC and in the gyms. And it's mostly all wrong.

ANOTHER ASIDE - stores like GNC (General Nutrition Centers, Inc.) should probably really be called something like BOGUS (Buy Our Generally-overpriced Unproven Shit).

YET ANOTHER ASIDE – if you go chugging a lot of recovery drinks after working out that's great for your muscles but be careful to not add them to your total caloric intake. If your drink is 500 calories, you will need to trim 500 calories from your dinner or somewhere else. Otherwise you will not lose weight. That's probably pretty obvious but I see so many people drinking their meal replacement shakes and then eating lunch! Hello?!

So take Dr. Martin's advice and remember, carbohydrate is much more important for muscle recovery than protein. We all need protein but most people that get caught up in this craze and start taking loads of supplements end up getting too much and then it's just extra calories you don’t need. And ANY extra calories you don't need – no matter if they come from protein or carbohydrate or fat – will get turned into fat.

Class dismissed.

Green Lake has historically been a haven to milfoil, ducks, migrating Canada geese, really bad pick-up basketball, English Premier League wannabes and these days, now that it's way too crowded to ride around the lake, it's also apparently the freaking dog walking capitol of the universe.

The other day Shelley and I went out for a leisurely stroll to enjoy a rare moment of Seattle winter sun and after seeing dog after dog pass us by we wondered how many we would encounter on our one lap around the lake. I blurted out, "40 dogs!" but Shelley, after giving this some careful thought said, "I think 25." So, coffee in hand we took off to walk and count.

Oh. My. God.

I had no idea... and how long has Martin lived in Seattle? The best thing is that part and parcel with being the dog walking capitol of the universe Green Lake has now also become the dog shit capitol of the universe. It seemed like every few (okay, maybe hundred) feet or so I was swerving left or right to avoid stepping in another pile. To be technically accurate, they weren't piles, they were just smears as someone else had already beaten me to it. At one point I even saw an elderly couple that were both stopping to scrape the soles of their shoes off on some piece of wood. Blech... Nothing quite as fun as finishing a brisk walk, getting back into your car (with carpeted interior of course) and realizing - too late - that you stepped in dog shit.

Which brings up the things I love about some dog owners. And in case you were wondering, I have previously had two dogs; now I know I can't offer them the quality of life they deserve.

• Ever watch the Dog Whisperer? You know, the show where Cesar Millan tells all these folks that they should stop treating their dogs like people? There was no shortage of owners being led around the lake by their dogs all the while talking to them in English telling them stuff like, "No!" Nice.
• If you can't control your dog with your voice, what are you doing taking it to such a crowded place? Likewise, if your dog does not like crowds, can you please put this trait ahead of your need to chat on the phone while ignoring the fact that there is a 60 lb animal bouncing all over the path in an effort to avoid (or attack - take your pick) everything that passes you by?
• If you have to carry your dog because it's too small to keep up, maybe you should leave it at home. It will get enough exercise just running to the door when you arrive every evening. It's resting heartrate is probably already 200 bpm; don't push it.
• When it comes to dog clothing, who decides if the dog really needs this or not? Did your dog tell you that it was cold? And who managed to upsell you from the cotton or wool horse blanket style garment to the Gortex shell with more pit zips, vents and technology than what was used to summit Everest 20  years ago?

ASIDE - check this out, for the obscenely devoted dog owner and homemaker with way too much time on their hands you can even get patterns and sew your own creations.

Animals, I love them, really. But they aren't people, people. And clean up after them, please.

Okay, so we don't really need this at all; that was a rhetorical statement.

What's the deal with drinks like Pepsi Max? In my humble opinion, Pepsi USA is Johnny come lately to the trend of drinks that make you irritable, twitch uncontrollably and unable to relax at important times of the day (like when you need to go to sleep!). I mean c'mon, hasn't this train already left the station? Check it out, we have:

• Rockstar Energy Drink [which uses fonts like you saw in Boogie Nights]
• NOS [which looks like a terrible MySpace page... is this supposed to appeal to the inner rice boy in all of us or something?]
• Red Bull [the original and the first to get combined with alcohol!]
• AMP [this is made by Mountain Dew which is owned by Pepsi and which is already really popular...]
• Wired [truth in advertising - sho 'nuf]

And about a gazilion others.

It would appear to me that in true, red-blooded American fashion someone at Pepsi decided that damn it, we're in America and here more is more by god so let the nasty soda flow. Twice the caffeine or regular diet Pepsi. Did I mention that it has guarana? Oh wait, then that's really three times the caffeine; my bad. Good luck kicking that smoking habit now, you're going to need 'em just to calm yourself down.

All this stuff reminds me of the body builder drinks you see at the gym. You know, stuff like Ripped Force:

Check these bottles out! I think you can also find them listed in the dictionary under "overkill" or "redundant" or "garish" or "stupid". The louder the label the more weight you will lose. Or is that the lighter your wallet gets... I forget.

Ripped Force an dotehr body builder drinks are just like all the hopped up sodas except they use longer words to describe their products like "thermogenics" and scientific terms like "ECA stack" which are used in an [very successful in my opinion] attempt to bamboozle the average consumer. And it's obviously really successful. When you see how much air time people like Kirstie Alley get pedaling methods like Weight Watchers it is no surprise. None at all.

ASIDE - Kirstie keeps telling us how much weight she has lost but I'm just not seeing it... It's like the total ascent number on my GPS, it lets you know how much elevation you gained and lost. I'm always blown away when the ads for this particular regime come on the television and there is Kirstie, in a tight dress. Looking not so thin. And with the same, tired, much-too-blond-overly-streaked-this-style-went-out-of-fashion-years-ago hair. But that's another post.

I'm going to go out on a limb right now and predict that Pepsi Max (diet or not) will not be around one year from now. It has to be the case that these guys are going to well once too often, right?

It seems like Santa got everyone the same helmet camera for Christmas this year.

I got one, then last Friday I found out my friend Tony got one as well and yesterday on the ride Brian had one on his bike. Nice. I'm no camera expert  but after reading a few reviews and shopping around the Oregon Scientific ATC2K seemed like a good 'first' camera. The resolution is only 640x480 but it's shock and water resistant, comes with a reasonable mounting kit for your helmet and handlebars and Oregon Scientific was having a special on the camera plus a 2 GB SD card which is the largest it can hold. Sold.

ASIDE - the reason 2 GB is the largest this camera will accept is you have to format the card FAT 16... seems strange in this day and age.

Now having the camera is cool but I know exactly what is going to happen. There is going to be a deluge of crap posted on YouTube that is not in the least bit interesting to anyone other than the author. You know, stuff like, "Here I am walking the dog" or, "Here I am riding my bike around a really boring corner of a really unremarkable road" or, "Here is [insert significant other here] brushing their teeth without knowing that I'm filming them". Oh wait, there already is.

I guess it's just a learning curve we all have to go though. Just like when we got our first email address and were initially set loose on the Internet; everyone had to forward the same tired jokes and chain letters to everyone else. And it's not only helmet cameras, most any phone or digital camera will record video too.

But there is hope. Some, okay lots, of the stuff on YouTube is incredible. In fact it was my sister that originally got me thinking about how much fun making movies could be with her Lucca goes skating clip that she made a couple of years ago. I love this film. It obviously helps that I also love Weezer but she did a damn good job. The little touches like the shot of the heart rate monitor? Brilliant. The transition from running on pavement to skating on snow? So simple and so cool.

I guess there is hope for me yet. Or at least my videos.

Just watch your back - you never know who is going to be armed with one of these the next time you get drunk at a party, playfully flirt with your best friend's wife or decide to blow through that stop sign. No need for big brother when there is an army of little brothers all in possession of some device that will record video.

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

The Story of Stuff is a 20:40 movie and a web site full of information about the culture of consumption we live in. It also has links and resources to hopefully explain how we can break out of this non-sustainable cycle.

From the web site:

"From its extraction through sale, use and disposal, all the stuff in our lives affects communities at home and abroad, yet most of this is hidden from view. The Story of Stuff is a 20-minute, fast-paced, fact-filled look at the underside of our production and consumption patterns. The Story of Stuff exposes the connections between a huge number of environmental and social issues, and calls us together to create a more sustainable and just world. It'll teach you something, it'll make you laugh, and it just may change the way you look at all the stuff in your life forever."

I know what you are thinking, preaching to the choir and all that... Well maybe you are right. But maybe this is still a great movie and web site. And maybe it's pretty relevant.

Everyone has their own level of tolerance when it comes to consuming, producing waste, using natural resources, eating meat, acquiring stuff, whatever. None of these things are necessarily bad but I'm thinking none should be done with no regard for their consequences. It's that "Think globally, act locally" cliche all over again. And it's why I feel a twinge of guilt when I have to drive to work (five miles one way!) in the van. I suppose a twinge is better than nothing.

Thanks to Mark B for sending me this.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00067F1CE/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

Nice. A personal tank, why didn't I think of this first? There goes another gazillion dollars I won't be making. With this ride all the original gangsters could cruise with total impunity.

You need to read the reviews, they had me laughing so hard my side hurt.

Thanks to Annie at work for this gem.

In addition to wasting lots of time sorta maintaining our own web site and two blogs and tons of other computer stuff that is really important to me only I'm also the web guy for the WSBA. This time of year I have to put together the event calendar for next year and I just finished hammering that out. So here is your special sneak peak. [shhh, don't tell anyone] Ta da...!

http://www.wsbaracing.com/events_2008.asp

Nice. Normally this takes me way too long and this time around was no exception. I must be the slowest coder in the universe. This morning it was freezing outside (literally) and it even snowed a little so I sat in front of the computer all day and typed and copied and pasted.

Yes! Timing really is everything.

A few weeks ago I was thinking, "It's been a long time since I've spoken with my good friend Chance..." so I gave him a call. Unfortunately (actually fortunately as it turned out) he did not answer and I had to leave a message.

Some time later I saw him reply to a post on a tech support list that I subscribe to at work. It reminded me that I had not heard back from him since I left my voice message so I sent him an email to follow up. After another email follow up Chance finally replied. He apologized profusely calling himself a "technological and social retard" which I think is going too far and besides, no apology necessary. We all get hung up on stuff and besides, I'm the king of letting things slide... I was just happy to hear from him.

ASIDE - Chance is an interesting (read: funny) guy. He's a self-professed Luddite and yet he started Formix which specializes in high-performance computing. Now from my vantage point, anyone that can design and implement a high-performance computing cluster is pretty savvy when it comes to technology. But being able to build computer clusters obviously does not equal knowing how to program your VCR. Or retrieve your voicemail.

So we decided that Shelley, Chance and I should go for a beer at the Stumbling Monk.

Practically the first thing out of his mouth was, "Do you two want to go to Whistler?"

Do I ever...!

So it's looking like we're not only going to be there but be there for New Years eve - what a blast! Chance has been staying in the same cabin for the last like five years:

and it looks really nice. I guess the owner had a chance to turn over the renting of the property to some developer or property manager or something ages ago and just wasn't organized to take them up on the offer before it expired. D'oh...! Chance tells me he could have doubled his money and kept the property. You know it won't last long but at least we still have this one year to enjoy it.

One of Chance's favorite things about Canada is that everything is labeled in English and in French. Like this tomato juice:

One of my favorite things about Chance is that he says stuff like this. And one of my favorite things about Canada is that it contains Whistler. Oh man, I can't WAIT.

When I was much younger my mother used to beak gingerbread and we'd spend some real quality time decorating it with candied fruit, nuts and icing. I remember thinking that the icing she made was so cool... it was 1) an incredible glue and 2) perfect for making icicles.

Well a few days ago Shelley got this authentic German gingerbread house kit and Wednesday evening Cameron and us put it together.

The icing was one egg white (beaten), as much powdered sugar as you wanted until the consistency was right and then a few drops of lemon juice for extra stickiness. It was surprising how easy it was to make and it was also surprising how many memories of my Mom came back just from whisking a damn egg white.

Anyway, I can't wait to eat this!

I also can't wait until I start using my digital camera instead of my phone to take pictures - man is that a ghetto shot.

Ever do something really stupid, realize it's really stupid and keep right on doing it? Right, me neither.

So here we are enjoying pretty much the only family tradition we have - going to Friday Harbor for Thanksgiving. This place is a research lab and along with cabins and apartments and a cafeteria and a dock and research vassals and and even row boats you can use and a day care facility now this place has Internet access. It used to be you had to go to the library and fire up one of the computers there but now they have wireless networks as well, two even. This morning I got online no problem; now I can't.

So what do I do? I keep trying. And waiting. And trying again.

The access points I was seeing this morning are not showing up at the moment and seeing as it's a holiday, they might just be turned off. But I keep sitting here, pretending to read magazine and stuff but really I keep clicking the refresh button on my wireless radio.

It's a sad state of affairs.

Oh I brought books. And I tried to build a fire (but I failed and Lucca had to take over), but what I really want is to [insert some lame reason here] online.

So there I am Friday morning waiting for the bus to take me to work when I see this bus going the other direction rather silently... It had the "OUT OF SERVICE" marque on the front but as it pulled up tot he intersection with some maintenance guy behind the wheel I did not hear any engine noise.

Well, not far behind the bus was this Mammoth tow truck. You know, the kind that move other trucks.

At first I'm thinking, "What the hell is this tow truck driver doing...?!" because he pulls RIGHT up behind this bus; like scary close. And then he proceeds to inch even closer!

Finally it dawned on me, this bus was broken down and the truck was pushing it along.

Sheeeeit. That takes some balls for sure. You know the truck driver can't see a damn thing and when they started out from the intersection it was NOT a slow start. No way, this guy punched it and the bus fairly shot across the intersection and off they went.

Yikes.

“Honey, are you going to wear your cologne today…?”

Oh my god, you’re damn straight I will, I love it when she says that. What could be better than knowing the girl of your dreams thinks you smell great? Not much, that was rhetorical.

I gotta say though, the name of this cracks me up. Ralph Lauren Polo Double Black. Like “Black” (which they have as well) just wasn’t enough. The bottle is wicked cool, no denying. Plus, I wore this at our wedding. Killer bottle and sentimental value, can't beat that.

to change up their logo. Like today – Veteran’s Day.

I love that. Sometimes it’s the little things.

Nice...

This is occurring way too frequently for my tastes these days. Here is what usually happens.

• I fall asleep.
• Something wakes me up.
• I can't fall back asleep. Until it's time to get up or the alarm goes off that is, then of course I can go from awake to deep sleep in record time. Do not pass REM, do not collect $200.

Tonight the 'thing' was some loud noise like a gun shot at around 1:30 am. By the time I hauled my groggy self up to look out of the window all I could see was some clown running down the sidewalk and disappearing from view. And by clown I mean, "some jerk that has nothing better to do than cruise neighborhoods other than his own f'ing around and making loud noises and why can't he get a job that requires him to wake up a the same time as me". And by too frequently I mean it's happening about twice/month.

Normally our neighborhood is nice and quiet but I sometimes forget that it's on the border of the CD (Central District).

ASIDE - the CD has a reputation (justifiably I guess) for being a somewhat rowdier neighborhood than others; like say Medina or Hunts Point or Magnolia.

In fact, I recall some time after I moved into this house that signs started appearing indicating that this was now the Central Neighborhood. I guess "Neighborhood" sounds much more classy than "District" or maybe it was just to try and avoid the stigma of the CD and boost property values.

Anyway, here I am. It's 3 am, I have a glass of lemonade and I'm on the Internet. :(