Saturday, March 22, 2008
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how to tell who's a tourist in Kauai
posted by: Martin
  • Anyone with a sunburn. Especially those with a burn in the pattern of a bathing suit they have not worn in 12 months or the shoulder straps of a tank top. Not to be confused with the person that has too much sun and looks like a well-tanned piece of cow hide; that's an aging Caucasian local or transplant.
  • The guy walking along the beach with his boogie board or surf board leash attached to his wrist or ankle.
  • Anyone with pants that zip off at the knee.
  • Anyone with a hat that is made of high-tech fabric and is supposed to wick moisture away from your head.
  • Most anyone in a Hawaiian shirt when it's not a special occasion.
  • The woman walking down the street wearing a flower lei.
  • The woman walking down the street wearing a flower lei like a necklace instead of letting it hang down in back as well as in front.
  • Anyone with a camera.
  • Just about anyone applying sun screen.
  • Pretty much anyone in any sandals other than zories. Locals don't wear Tevas, Keens, Chacos or anything with buckles or Velcro straps.
  • Anyone wearing socks. Like that guy with the hi-tech Eddy Bauer hat in the zip-off pants wearing white, crew length 'athletic' socks in his Teva sandals... yikes.
  • All those people that bring a HUGE bag of accessories to the beach filled with stuff like sun block, a camera, books, the legs of zip-off pants in case it gets cold...
  • Anyone that wears a raincoat when it rains. All the locals know it's 1) warm rain and 2) that it will stop very soon and all they have to do is hang out for five or 10 minutes.
  • Anyone driving a convertible Ford Mustang. Actually, anyone driving any Ford Mustang at all; they're all rental cars on Kauai.
  • People who check the weather forecast. What's to check? In the winter it ranges between 65-78 and in the summer it ranges between 70-82. It's gonna rain somewhere on the island every day and there will probably be wind. Get used to it.
  • People who think what the locals speak is called "Pigeon English" instead of pidgin.
  • Anyone that gets upset when you schedule a meeting for 4 in the afternoon and the other party is not there at 4:05.
  • Seemingly anyone worried about their hair; like keeping it in place or coloring it.
  • People who suggest the pool when someone asks, "Where should we go swimming today?"
vacation
Saturday, March 22, 2008 10:50:31 AM (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [4]  |  Related posts:
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Monday, March 24, 2008 10:06:18 AM (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
I saw lots of locals wearing Crocs. And "Zories". Or as people on Earth like to call them, flip-flops.

Seems like an odd post considering WE were tourists in Kauai.
Shelley
Monday, March 24, 2008 7:11:14 PM (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
I have NEVER heard them called zories and I'm the king of all things sandal. I think you made the word up AND put it up on Urban Dictionary.

Sneaky Mr. Criminale... very sneaky.
brian Snyder
Friday, March 28, 2008 12:21:54 PM (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
So which tourist were you? the guy with zip off pants or the one driving the Mustang?
Tony
Friday, March 28, 2008 12:33:50 PM (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
He was the tourist who couldn't let sand touch his towel lest it burst into flames.
Shelley
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