Okay, so we don't really need this at all; that was a rhetorical statement.

What's the deal with drinks like Pepsi Max? In my humble opinion, Pepsi USA is Johnny come lately to the trend of drinks that make you irritable, twitch uncontrollably and unable to relax at important times of the day (like when you need to go to sleep!). I mean c'mon, hasn't this train already left the station? Check it out, we have:

• Rockstar Energy Drink [which uses fonts like you saw in Boogie Nights]
• NOS [which looks like a terrible MySpace page... is this supposed to appeal to the inner rice boy in all of us or something?]
• Red Bull [the original and the first to get combined with alcohol!]
• AMP [this is made by Mountain Dew which is owned by Pepsi and which is already really popular...]
• Wired [truth in advertising - sho 'nuf]

And about a gazilion others.

It would appear to me that in true, red-blooded American fashion someone at Pepsi decided that damn it, we're in America and here more is more by god so let the nasty soda flow. Twice the caffeine or regular diet Pepsi. Did I mention that it has guarana? Oh wait, then that's really three times the caffeine; my bad. Good luck kicking that smoking habit now, you're going to need 'em just to calm yourself down.

All this stuff reminds me of the body builder drinks you see at the gym. You know, stuff like Ripped Force:

Check these bottles out! I think you can also find them listed in the dictionary under "overkill" or "redundant" or "garish" or "stupid". The louder the label the more weight you will lose. Or is that the lighter your wallet gets... I forget.

Ripped Force an dotehr body builder drinks are just like all the hopped up sodas except they use longer words to describe their products like "thermogenics" and scientific terms like "ECA stack" which are used in an [very successful in my opinion] attempt to bamboozle the average consumer. And it's obviously really successful. When you see how much air time people like Kirstie Alley get pedaling methods like Weight Watchers it is no surprise. None at all.

ASIDE - Kirstie keeps telling us how much weight she has lost but I'm just not seeing it... It's like the total ascent number on my GPS, it lets you know how much elevation you gained and lost. I'm always blown away when the ads for this particular regime come on the television and there is Kirstie, in a tight dress. Looking not so thin. And with the same, tired, much-too-blond-overly-streaked-this-style-went-out-of-fashion-years-ago hair. But that's another post.

I'm going to go out on a limb right now and predict that Pepsi Max (diet or not) will not be around one year from now. It has to be the case that these guys are going to well once too often, right?