So. Some time ago Shelley expressed an interest in riding the STP and
I of course eagerly accepted. I LOVE riding our tandems with her and figured that
we would be peaking fresh from two weeks of riding in Portugal so this would be cake.
As a bonus, I invited Andy G from
work to come along and he accepted. Nice.
Well. That was then and this is now and Martin is much wiser than he was prior to
Saturday morning. But let me break it down for you.
This was my first time doing this ride in two days. In the past I have just rolled
down from my house to the start with a messenger bag, tossed it on the Portland truck
and then picked it up at the finish. This time we had to drive the bike and duffel
bags to the start (luckily I was able to park on campus 'cuz I work there), walk the
bike and bags to the start and then put them on the Centralia truck.
The start window for cyclists is from oh-dark thirty (people were rolling out at 4:45!)
to 7:30 AM on Saturday morning so we opted for the incredibly sane departure time
of 7. Seemed like a super smart choice, right? Wrong. When you leave as 'late' as
we did, you are mired in countless people who are going to average 15 mph at best
and even if you pass one or two packs on the road, when you stop for a light they
are instantly replaced by hundreds or other cyclists just like them.
Here we are before we started. All smiles.
As is my nature I had been hyping the best parts of this ride for weeks (months?)
prior to the start and by now Shelley and Andy had both had their fill. I had intimately
described each rest stop and stretch of road and hill based on my wholly inaccurate
recollection from my last ride which was around five years ago. Typical.
At the top of my list of misinformation was my description of the REI food stop about
25 miles in. I had solemnly assured everyone that this food stop was the bomb and
that we could assuredly fill our pockets with enough treats to last all the way to
Centralia once we got there. What did they have? Peanut butter wraps, fruit and Odwalla
juices. Oh yeah, I guess there were some Clif products around if you could find them
but the crowds were so massive it was almost scary to go anywhere! And there were
cops, err... volunteers everywhere to ensure that you only took one of any item. I
lied, said one juice was for my wife and got the hell out of Dodge. Who need solid
food anyway. Shelley got even less – here she is with her one juice.
And here is Andy showing us that undershirts to indeed conceal your bib shorts suspenders.
Next up was my assumption that this would be bike ride. Oh sure, the vast majority
of people rode bicycles but the STP has turned into a bit of a circus and people seem
to be outdoing each other in their efforts to ride the most insane mode of transportation
down to Portland. Like these ElliptiGOs.
ASIDE – these ElliptiGO people are obviously dedicated/nuts...
Or on a skateboard.
Not sure which one of these guys was there this year but damn if they didn't do it
again. 200 miles in two days on a long board, holy leg piston Batman.
Or the three hippie looking people on a side-by-side-by-side triple bike. Sorry, no
pictures of this one... And in case you were wondering, this rig DOES take up the
entire shoulder/right lane of traffic so good luck trying to pass them whenever there
is any traffic. Or there is any sort of incline. Or at any intersection. You guessed
it, we had to pass them several times.
Or the dude on his crazy three-wheeled, upright, sway-it-back-and-forth-to-keep-it-moving
thingy... I was not even sure how to Google that. But it quite possibly took up even
more space as it wagged back and forth down the road than the triple thing. Thanks
goodness we only passed him once. Not even sure he finished to tell you the truth,
his forward progress was not so impressive...
I also had no clue what massive amounts of people we would encounter on the road.
When you do the ride in one day and when you start at 6 like I usually did in the
past, you 1) have lots fewer folks to pass and 2) after you hit the half way point
there are WAY fewer people on the road. This time that was not the case – it was almost
claustrophobic from the start all the way to the finish.
And what is with all the 'mini' (read: pay-for) food stops?! I paid good money to
do this ride and never have I had so little support. There were literally TWO free
food stops each day. Two stops in 100 miles? C'mon. Compare that to a ride like the Seattle
Century where you get food around every corner and then a f'n fabulous dinner
and beer at the end all for no extra and it makes me wonder what's going on. Sure,
the scale of the rides is not really comparable but still, I remember more food...
Did I mention standing in line? By the end of the ride we were experts at that; EXPERTS
I tell you. We had to wait in line at every stop for everything from the food to the
drink to the bike coral to the well, you know.
So we had to resort to other things to amuse ourselves. Like discussing the zany vehicles
we saw all day. Or the bazillion Team
In Training people we saw along the way. Seriously, I'm convinced that STP in
two days = Team In Training now. In. Sane.
Or taking pictures of ourselves.
We finally made it to Centralia where there were showers, indoor toilets, a beer garden,
cheap food and a band. Yes. And they were showing classic Tour de France footage and
live coverage from this years race as well.
In Centralia you have two options for accommodations. Tent city:
or crazy high school sleepover gymnasium group living situation:
We chose the later. But as luck would have it, you were allowed to sleep anywhere
in the gymnasium building so we found a carpeted weight room and shacked up there.
We were not alone but the carpet did quiet things down some and there were exercise
mats we could put down under our sleeping pads. And of course the benefit to having
a squat rack right next to your bed is huge.
Our 'lodging' fee also included a towel. Here is some secret, behind-the-scenes footage
of what happens to them when all the riders are done with them.
Day two was almost worse than day 1. I think because I expected the crowds to dissipate
and they didn't. We soldered on to Portland, eating all the lame food that was on
offer. Did I mention that they were rationing it as well? Oh yes; just like at the
REI stop on day one when you finally got to the food tables after waiting in line
for what was sometimes surely 30 minutes you were told in no uncertain terms that
you could have, "One sandwich, one item from this group and one item from that
group." Incredible. At least the folks form Clif were much more generous. Too
bad they were not at every food stop.
Lastly – if you don't eat meat – forget about any kind of sandwich. Unless you count
peanut butter and jelly which was the last thing I wanted to see after some cookies,
a sweet energy bar and a Rice
Krispies treat.
What was fun was fantasizing about all the things that would be good to eat and were
not sweet. One day one there was – surprisingly – a Papa
Murphy's pizza truck giving out microscopic slices. It wasn't much but I got one.
One day two there were about a dozen people in Session Beer jerseys.
That was fun to imagine drinking.
Eventually we go to Portland. And truth be told, our spirits kinda lifted. Riding
through the northern part of the city is very pretty and knowing you are almost done
is pretty sweet. But the kind that I like.
As we approached the finish you could hear the announcer on the mic and he was going
AT it hyping up the crowd.
I must admit, that was pretty cool.
And rolling across the line we got to ride through a gauntlet of screaming 'fans',
that was pretty trippy.
I am amazed how many family and friends come out to support these riders! Not just
at the finish but along the entire route. We were constantly going past little camps
of people with banners and musical instruments and flags that were waving, cheering,
yelling, singing, clapping and in some cases even giving away free lemonade.
And really, I guess that is what this ride is all about. I suppose I should get off
my high horse but what a shock to the system for sure... I just was not expecting
what we experienced. Thanks to Shelley for hanging in there on what was an extremely
difficult and sometimes stressful day and to Andy for being a sterling guy and not
ditching us and keeping his smile on.
Another great memory was drinking cheap beer on the train home and having to pay a
lot for it. Pretty representative of the weekend but somehow fitting and providing
closure. And the train did rule compared to driving or being squished in a Greyhound
bus with lots of people that did not have time to shower after riding 100 miles and
WERE STILL WEARING THEIR CYCLING SHORTS! Gross.
Will I be back? Not to do this in two days, that's for sure. There are WAY too many
amazing rides in the NW to waste your time fighting hordes of cyclists down busy streets
just to check the consecutive century box. For me anyway. Bless the Cascade
Bicycle Club for organizing this monolith and icon of local riding but I'm out.
Here are all the pictures
and video.
