After a stressful week I thought I would treat myself to a massage today. Actually I called on Tuesday and pleaded for them to get me in as soon as possible. As soon as possible was 5 days later. I get things done, people. That's all I'm saying. If you want dinner reservations for say, next month sometime - you know who to call.

I show up at Spa Scotta early and go to their Quiet Room. I grab a water from the fridge and am almost tempted to rip open a bag of complimentary Ruffles on the table (Ruffles? Really? At the spa?) but I figured the crunching and bag-crackling would be kinda anti-quiet room of me. I'm lead back to the room, meet my masseuse, she's nice enough, it smells good, the chimey-Japanese-lute music is playing, I hear a small babbling brook in the distance. Masseuse girl leaves the room. I get naked and get under the blanket on my back. Mustering my relaxed face. Girl comes back in turns the lights down. Walks to the closet. I see her chewing something. It's not gum. Flashes through my mind Oh no she did not just finish her lunch in the breakroom. She's going to pop a mint certainly. She knows not to ruin my flow with lunch breath. No mints are popped. She's at the head of the massage table beginning with my neck and sure thing, I get a whiff of some meaty Kung Pao chicken. I immediately want my money back. Who does that!? I'm supposed to be all sniffing on some essential oils, listening to the creek, the fake birds, melting my cares away. Not this. I did not request the garlic dip. That shit belongs in the quiet room with the Ruffles, honey.

To me, this is a basic rule. Maybe I'm wrong. I remember my sister telling me a story of when she was in aestheticians school. The girls would get a break during the day. Some used this break to study, others get a drink, what have you. One lady used her break to pop to the shop next door for some ciggies and a chili-cheese dog with jalapeno's. My brain just sort of goes blank at that point. What on earth. Can you imagine the same fingers that had just held a Parliament and choked down a hot dog rubbing all up and down your face applying a clay mask? I realize beauty school offers some severely discounted treatments on a count of the learning curve but those poor folks needed to get paid for that trauma.

OK, so it wasn't ball parks and cigarettes but it wasn't lavender and it was about 6 inches from my face. She eventually moved down to the arms, legs and feet. And then thankfully I got to turn over and put my face in the donut. Wherein I made sure to sniff heartily as it was doused with eucalyptus. The damage was done. And god damn, I really wanted that massage to transport me to nirvana. I got about as far as PF Chang's.

Who knew a feather boa was not only good looking but good for you too... Clearly I need to rethink this whole cycling routine I have going and give burlesque equal consideration. Think of all the fabulous outfits I would be able to wear! Plus I might get tips, no none tips you when you ride your bike, that's for sure...

The Goddess Workout - Cardio Burlesque "Whip"

Just say no to boring old Lycra.

What would we do without the Internet? Well for one we'd all be wasting gobs of money on expensive tripods and taking blurry pictures. Thank heavens we have it. Say hello to the $1 image stabilizer for your camera:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1041948/1_image_stabilizer_for_any_camera_lose_the_tripod/

I have not had a cell phone (or Handy as some people like to call them) for that long; all my friends had one first. Now that I've had a few I can say without reservation that some are great and some absolutely suck. Not just sorta sucky like a non-intuitive interface or menu, but really sucky like poor reception, crap battery life, cheap construction and outrageously priced accessories. The Motorola PEBL:

that I have right now keeps falling more and more into the later category. These days the only cool thing about it is the small size and rounded corners when closed. I used to have a couple of Nokia phones and loved them. The antenna was awesome and they had the features I wanted. I even had one that was water and shock resistant, had a compass, thermometer and flashlight! It was like a Swiss Army knife and phone combined and was my favorite so far.

Since I did not want to hassle with getting [insert your favorite phone here] and then dealing with T-Mobile to activate it on their network and since a co-worker of mine already has one and I was able to hold it and play with it and since I have been wanting a smart phone for some time now I finally decided to pull the trigger on a Dash:

Oo... ah... But really, what does it get me? For an extra $20/month (unlimited Internet) I will get email, the web, minimalist versions of the most popular Microsoft Office applications and a full keyboard. Oh yeah, and the larger size that goes along with it.

But I'm still excited; like a kid who is about to get a birthday present! We'll see how long the honeymoon lasts with this piece of technology - maybe it's just me that sucks after all.

Shelley: "Have you ever heard of Twitter...?"

Martin: "Yes."

Shelley: "Can you add it to our blog?"

Martin: "Dunno, let me give it a try."

And guess what, it's not that hard. You can now see my tweets on the right hand side of the home page. This is pretty fun, I especially like being able to post (really, really small) updates to the blog from my phone. I was able to do this within minutes of signing up with Twitter. Cuz you know, everyone needs to know what Martin is up to at all times.

incredible.

You know how sometimes hearing just the right song at just the right time can mix the chemicals in your blood just so and fire the neurons in your brain just right and turn you into a weeping baby? That just happened to me. Holy crap, the human body is way too complicated...

But to the point of this post - what made me feel this way is also freaking cool! Check it out:

http://www.theunseenvideo.com/video/youmakemefeel.html

This is Mike Milosh performing "You Make Me Feel" and the song is amazing. The video is also amazing as it changes depending on your geographic location and the weather you are currently experiencing.

Now that - in my humble opinion - is what the Internet is for.

Once you try dual displays you'll never go back. That and other universal truths will soon be available in my new book...

Seriously, one thing that has always bugged me is the inability of Windows to natively show you different images on your various displays; or to be able to stretch one image across multiple displays. Well along comes DisplayFusion. Problem solved. Sometimes it's the little things.

Thanks to tech R I V E T for that one.

Every year cycling teams get presented to the press when the new season gets underway. Sponsors - especially new ones - love the exposure and it's a chance for interviews, autograph signing and lots of picture taking. Here in the US teams usually show up to these events in their matching sweat suits and running shoes. Maybe the entire team even has on matching wicking briefs.

Well let's look at how the Italians do this. Here is team LPR Brakes at their formal presentation. Nice.

Say hello to Euro style and a Euro pro team budget.

There's more than one cycling nerd besides me at the Information School where I work so it should not be too surprising that one of them walked in to my office today and informed me that Sheldon Brown had passed away. Sure enough, you can read about it here.

My only real contact or interaction with this guy was one long email exchange on some techy bike list some years ago and I vividly recall how adamant he was that you only EVER needed one brake on a bicycle. That being the front brake. No amount of real-world examples that I had experienced would convince him otherwise.

The guy sure was an icon in the bicycle industry and a very unique individual, I wish his wife and kids all the best. Working in a bike shop is not exactly going to leave his family a big nest egg if you get what I'm saying.

Some things that stood out to me when I was browsing his vast collection of bicycles were a fixed-gear tandem and a fixed gear with a Biopace chainring. That takes balls.

Here it is, my dream laptop. Until next month anyway...

http://gizmodo.com/346797/ultralight-lenovo-x300-series-thinkpad-leaked

I was just talking to our Lenovo rep today and this unit will be available with a SATA hard drive a few weeks after release which is my preference. SSD is fast and bomber but too still small in my opinion.

The X300 will come with the following:

• A touchpad (also my preference) in addition to the pointer. Don't know why but  I have never liked pointers...
• A 7 mm (down from 9 mm) DVD-RW. It's still the kind with a 'drawer' that ejects and not the ultra thin model you see in the new little Dell XPS or iMac. The smaller size means it is not modular though and so can't be replaced. I'm fine with that, that's what the warranty is for. And who upgrades the optical drive in their laptop anyway.
• 3 USB ports. Thank god, I hate it when manufacturers skimp on the most important port there is.
• integrated webcam and microphone. Nice! Apple and Dell have this as well and it seems like one of the best new things to come along on ages. If you're going to make a portable device, why not make it work with all the stuff people like to use like IM, Skype, etc. without needing to plugs tons of crap in?
• Fingerprint reader. Until you have used this you have no idea just how cool/convenient it is so shut up already.
• A real keyboard. There is a limit to how small I am willing to go and this is it.
• Ditto with the display. This one is 1440x900 and that's plenty not to have to scroll left and right (the worst) or even up and down on most web sites.

Other than using the latest Intel CPU (lower voltage and thus cooler) and Santa Rosa chipset (compatible with 802.11n, etc.) , this looks just like a regular ThinkPad that has been put on a diet.

How much is it? Well, that's the million dollar question now isn't it and the answer is still a couple of weeks away.

Oh sure, there is lots out there that is smaller but Martin don't play that. Stuff like the ASUS Eee PC [That's pronounced "Eek, that's a damn small computer!"] and the Apple MacBook Air [Yikes...! A 4200 rpm HDD?! Better wait until the next version.] is sure cute and Apple rules when it comes to coining terminology like "Thinnovation" and using great songs in their adds but too small and too slow is just that.