How many times do I need to see this footer on emails that I receive...? We all know what happened, right? Someone at Apple figured this was marketing genius and a great way to spread the gospel. Well guess what Mr. Apple marketing man, after seeing this footer for the one hundredth time it becomes either 1) invisible because you are totally desensitized to it or in my case it's 2) really annoying because now I have yet one more line of text to scroll past on my mobile device in order to read the entire conversation thread.

The other day there was an outdoor concert at work and a comedian was the opener. After warming the crowd up a bit he launched right into his iPhone rant. It went something like this.

"I got an email the other day and at the bottom it said, "Sent from an iPhone". Nice going. You know what, who cares what kind of phone you have. Is this kind of posturing really necessary? I've got an idea; why don't you stick your iPhone up your ass, take a picture of it and then email it to yourself."

I was in tears.

By the way; the same thing goes for those massive signatures that include quotes by famous people that some people feel the need to send along WITH EVERY REPLY AND FORWARD. Just say no.

Nice.

There is a mountain bike downhill race in Lisbon Portugal called Lisboa Downtown that winds down these endless flights of stairs and cobbled streets and goes over man-made ramps and looks absolutely SICK. I first read about this on cyclingnews.com and then I watched some of the video on the event web site and all I can say is wow...

I remember when I worked downtown at Ti Cycles and took Dave's 2nd generation titanium DH bike for a spin down the SAM steps and all over Pioneer Square. Never before in my life had I been able to hit a curb head on and barely notice it. Or haul ass down a flight of stairs and not be worried about getting pitched over the bars. And that was with way old school suspension technology.

What a blast this event must be. Every kid dreams of riding down stairs - who doesn't love that, right?

The proximity of the stone buildings probably add a little to the excitement level of the riders I'm betting.

So... do you think this will really work?

https://www.catalogchoice.org/

You are supposed to able to create a profile and then elect not to receive catalogs from anyone who is sending you one currently. Since I'm a huge sucker for not getting mail I threw caution to the wind and signed up. I love the mission and they are endorsed by everyone and their dog (including hopefully me soon) but what if a business does not volunteer to sign up with this service?

I bet there is math out there that proves it's more profitable to send millions or catalogs out, have 999,000 end up in some landfill - meaning the other 1,000 get used to buy stuff - than to let people opt out. I mean if you don't get the catalog, how are you going to know you can spend money on this retailer? You get the idea.

Shit, here's hoping it works.

NOTE - I did not have to provide my full name in my profile so I didn't.

Every once in a while something comes along that you just know will not be a flash in the pan and this - for sure - falls into that category.

Xobni is an add-in for Microsoft Outlook that is amazing. It indexes all your email and displays relevant, contextual information in the Xobni bar no matter what you are doing be it messing with your mail, calendar, tasks, contacts, whatever.

Already with Windows Vista and Outlook 2007 it's hardly necessary to file messages into folders as the native search in Vista is so powerful but this takes it to the next level. Now you can see stuff like how many messages you have sent to a particular person, what dime of day you usually correspond, your recent correspondence, what attachments you have sent back and forth (I LOVE this feature, no more hunting for messages to find attachments!) and much, much more.

And the best thing? It's so intuitive to use! I had almost no learning curve and was able to just reap the benefits. Gotta love that. Nothing worse than some obscure tool for power users only. Except for that power user obviously but hey, it's never going to get much traction if it's insanely complicated.

I heard that as soon as Microsoft saw this they began to incorporate all of the features into the next version of Office. Duh...

I already love cheese and I just discovered another one that is to die for. Trader Joe's Cave Aged Gruyere.

But I had to know, what the hell does 'cave aged' mean? So I went and found out. No wonder I like it. Take an already fantastic cheese - Swiss Gruyere - lovingly place it in a sandstone cave (or warehouse not doubt - but I'm sticking with the cave image no matter what) and let it get all crumbly, sharp and oh so delicious for 12 MONTHS. Think of a sharp, white cheddar and you'll start to get the picture. Only this is better.

Three more words: tastes like more.

So I get a new pair of shoes, okay? Nothing special, just a pair of black, leather, sorta nice, slip-on shoes. Last Monday I wore them to work for the first time; along with a pair of good looking jeans and long sleeve shirt.

A couple of days ago while I'm helping one of our staff with a computer problem she says to me, "How come you were all dressed up the other day? You're not interviewing are you?"

?!

It made me realize that my work 'uniform' basically is raggedy-ass faded jeans, any old top and either slip-on Vans or Converse in the winter or shorts and a T-shirt (same shoes) in the summer. Throw in some fabulous cycling socks and I look like a hobo eight hours a day, five days a week.

It was kind of a wake up call as I'm usually the guy making superior fashion judgments about anyone I pass on the street. :( Now who's laughing. Not me. That was rhetorical.

• Anyone with a sunburn. Especially those with a burn in the pattern of a bathing suit they have not worn in 12 months or the shoulder straps of a tank top. Not to be confused with the person that has too much sun and looks like a well-tanned piece of cow hide; that's an aging Caucasian local or transplant.
• The guy walking along the beach with his boogie board or surf board leash attached to his wrist or ankle.
• Anyone with pants that zip off at the knee.
• Anyone with a hat that is made of high-tech fabric and is supposed to wick moisture away from your head.
• Most anyone in a Hawaiian shirt when it's not a special occasion.
• The woman walking down the street wearing a flower lei.
• The woman walking down the street wearing a flower lei like a necklace instead of letting it hang down in back as well as in front.
• Anyone with a camera.
• Just about anyone applying sun screen.
• Pretty much anyone in any sandals other than zories. Locals don't wear Tevas, Keens, Chacos or anything with buckles or Velcro straps.
• Anyone wearing socks. Like that guy with the hi-tech Eddy Bauer hat in the zip-off pants wearing white, crew length 'athletic' socks in his Teva sandals... yikes.
• All those people that bring a HUGE bag of accessories to the beach filled with stuff like sun block, a camera, books, the legs of zip-off pants in case it gets cold...
• Anyone that wears a raincoat when it rains. All the locals know it's 1) warm rain and 2) that it will stop very soon and all they have to do is hang out for five or 10 minutes.
• Anyone driving a convertible Ford Mustang. Actually, anyone driving any Ford Mustang at all; they're all rental cars on Kauai.
• People who check the weather forecast. What's to check? In the winter it ranges between 65-78 and in the summer it ranges between 70-82. It's gonna rain somewhere on the island every day and there will probably be wind. Get used to it.
• People who think what the locals speak is called "Pigeon English" instead of pidgin.
• Anyone that gets upset when you schedule a meeting for 4 in the afternoon and the other party is not there at 4:05.
• Seemingly anyone worried about their hair; like keeping it in place or coloring it.
• People who suggest the pool when someone asks, "Where should we go swimming today?"

"I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! "

56.